16 ideas about changing your life. Part 1

I love the fact that we each have the ability to change, grow, mature, develop and become the people God created us to be. Almost every time we turn the TV on, we are bombarded with hundreds of quick fixes for every issue in our life from weight loss to great relationships, however lasting change actually takes time and effort and although change may be simple, it is not easy.

I look at issues in my own life that still need changing and sometimes get frustrated at my apparent lack of ability to make genuine progress, yet every new day that I wake I am gifted with another chance to apply what I know, and make the change.

In my experience, here are 16 things that help a person really change. I’ll give 8 of them to you this week, and talk about the other 8 next time.

1. Repentance – Sorry is not a plan. Repentance is more than just telling God we are sorry and that we won’t do that again. Change happens when we decide to turn around and live differently and make a plan to do so.

2. Reframe meaning – Our position in life is not determined by the things that happen to us, but by the meaning we place on the things that happen to us. Change happens when we take a fresh look at the defining moments in our life and place a better meaning on them. “What else could that mean?”

3. Empowering beliefs – All behaviour, attitudes, emotions and thinking flow out of what we believe. In order to change our life we must develop empowering beliefs. “What would I need to believe in order to get more of what I want?”

4. Let go of self Judgment – When we have internal conversations between the ideal me and the real me, we end up working against ourselves and limiting all potential for growth and change. When we realise that there is just one of us and accept and affirm ourselves, we then free ourselves to change.

5. Link pain to unresourceful behaviour – Whatever we link pain to we avoid. If we think something is going to be painful, we instinctively try to get away from it at all costs. The only reason we stop doing something we once enjoyed is because we start focusing on the pain and cost it is causing us.

6. Link pleasure to resourceful behaviour – Pain causes us to move away from something, while pleasure motivates us to move towards it. We have the ability to control our pleasure associations by what we focus on and the story we tell ourselves. The only way we will stick at good behaviour is if there is enough pleasure involved.

7. Reward and celebrate the good – Every time we reward ourselves for doing the right thing, we reinforce pleasure associations. Lasting change is achieved in our lives when we consistently reward the behaviour we are trying to keep, and starve the behaviour we are trying to stop.

8. Listen to the pain – Pain is a gift designed to tell us that something is wrong and we need to make immediate changes. Too often we run from pain or medicate it so we numb it’s signals. Change happens when we listen to our pain and deal with the things that are hurting us.