Article

4 Reasons Why Your Partner Wants to Dump You

Topic: DivorcePublished February 16, 2011

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This exclusive article will help you with your day to day dealings with people. You will discover the four key reasons why someone will co-operate with you, do business with you, and like you. Conversely, you will find four key reasons why people will not deal with you, or won’t follow your suggestions, or buy from you, or why they want you out of their life. The four reasons apply to me just as they apply to you and everybody in your work or personal life. Let me explain. This past Monday my office mailed 22 completed divorce packages. The people that use our service, and all the people that refuse to do business with us, base their decision on the 4 reasons. These 4 reasons will show you why people either turn to you or turn away. So let’s get to it. # 1: NeedrnAn hour ago a tell-a-marketer called me; the one with the hard to understand accent, the one asking me to switch phone service. I have a phone; have been with the same carrier for forty years. No matter what incentives she offered, I am not about to switch. I do not need her service. The same is true of snow tires. If you do not have a need, then you are not going to buy new tires. Ditto in your personal relationships. The key here is to discover the other person’s need, and then meet it. In my business I deal with separation and divorce issues. Every week hundreds of people ask for and receive my legal separation agreement. This free agreement in Word format helps people resolve their issues without spending a stack of their hard-earned money on legal bills. I meet their need. Personal relationship needs are more complex than phone service or legal papers. Needs must be met, yours and your partners. It is not easy and it takes a sincere willingness to openly communicate. # 2: No HurryrnThere are just too many things in our day-to-day lives that need immediate attention, and by nature we put off what we can. The guy at the tire store will tell you that his busiest time for new snow tires is right after the first snow fall. In work or business we need to act quickly or we lose customers and money. Often a business will tempt you with incentives, sometimes overdoing it and driving you away forever. In my business, people have their own time-line. Work, kids, money, and events all take priority over something that can be put off another month or two. Some people even after years of separation are still not divorced. It took me six, so I can understand the no-hurry syndrome. The danger with fixing work or personal relationships is that it is just too easy to put things on hold. An eroding association takes enormous energy to fix, and the longer things fester the harder the task. So find out what it will take to make things happen right now. Honestly examine where you are in your relationship, what is good, and what needs immediate attention. Why not take some of this energy and learn some new skills to strengthen your relationship? “Women are the relationship caretakers. They carefully monitor their relationships to make sure there is enough closeness and connection. If not, women will do what they can to try to fix things. If their husbands aren't responsive, women become extremely unhappy and start complaining about everything under the sun. Unfortunately, when women complain, men generally retreat and the marriage deteriorates even more” # 3: You Are No HelprnSix people standing around a tree. Looking up. A kid is stuck, crying for mom. Six people offering advice. Not one of them has a ladder. In business you need to have the tools ready, and you need the skill to use those tools. Too often a business cannot help you, but the real sin lies in the common attitude of not caring enough to even consider taking a small step to solve a problem. You see it every day. On the plus side, you experience quality help in many business transactions. You walk away feeling good. Like you count. Relationships matter. If you and your partner are having difficulties then perhaps it’s time to decide on fixing things. To help the other, and help yourself. Persistently show that you like each other to keep your relationship fresh. Even something as simple as complementing on your spouse's looks or buying little surprised gifts can help. Look for the things that would make your partner feel cherished. Both of you have a duty to your partnership to maintain open and honest communication. Marriage fails for a multitude of reasons; this writer suggests that the number one relationship killer is a failure for couples to communicate openly. “Relationships must deepen or die” John LeCarre # 4: I Don’t Trust YournCops, lawyers and the tax man all assume people do not tell the truth. It is their starting point. Don’t confuse credibility with trust. Credibility is a degree on the wall, a title, skill or knowledge. “Trust me, I am a certified expert”. Ya right. Trust is something you earn. The easiest method to gain someone’s trust is to do what you say. Relationships fall apart when he doesn’t call when he knows he is going to be late. When she fails to fulfill a promise. Things erode one tiny failure at a time. Every person who has ever been involved with any kind of sales transaction will tell you about the “Be Backs” The person who tells them they want what they are selling. It is too difficult to say “I don’t need your product, I am not buying anytime soon, and I find that you aren’t much help anyway”. The easy response is usually “I’ll be back”. We hear the relationship “Be Back” all the time. The “I’ll look after that”. If nothing else, one should be open and admit that there is a delay or a problem that needs attention. “Here is how I am going to fix it….” Then do it.rnYou gain others trust by doing your job.rnBy doing what you say. rnPeriod.

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