5 Ways to Damage or Destroy Your Marriage - How Many Are You Guilty Of?

Marriages usually end because of foolish choices one or both partners make whether consciously or unconsciously or because they haven't really thought through the consequences of their actions. If you find that you need help with your marriage because it's been damaged, check to see whether you and/or your partner are guilty of these five bad behaviors.rn1. Taking Your Partner for GrantedrnWhen you are juggling so many things with your job, kids, home, community, hobbies, extended family and so on, it's not unusual to allow your partner to become just another obligation or even to treat them as little more than a housemate or a servant who's around primarily to do your bidding or provide financial support. But remember, this is the person that you fell in love with, couldn't wait to spend time with, and were heartsick and depressed if you were separated from for more than a day or two. So how did you let this most cherished person of your past become such an unimportant fixture in your present? If you want to destroy your marriage, continue to take your spouse for granted.rn2. Improper CommunicationrnOne of the leading causes of problems between couples who find that they need help with their marriage comes down to a lack of or improper communication. Your spouse can't read your mind and you can't assume that they will know what you want if you don't verbalize it. Another common communication problem is that one person says something and the other person hears something completely different. If there's any chance for confusion between what you may have said or what your spouse may have understood, make sure that you clear it up immediately or suffer the consequences.rn3. Not Sharing Important InformationrnIt's not uncommon that one spouse won't share problems or information with their spouse. Some do it to shield their partner because they don't want to cause their spouse to get worried or distressed. Others do it because they're afraid of what their spouse is going to say or how they are going to react. The fact is that your marriage is a partnership. Remember the "for better or worse, for richer or poorer" section of your vows? Well that includes letting your spouse know if you're having financial difficulties, if the kids are having trouble in school, your job may be in jeopardy, if there is a health issue or any other important information that should be and needs to be shared with your spouse.rnYou got married to share the load, not to keep it from your partner. In the long run, if your partner knows what is going on they will not only be able to help you to resolve the dilemma but if the problem escalates or becomes out of control, they won't resent you for surprising them with something that is going to adversely affect their life. Honesty truly is the best policy.rn4. The Communication and Electronic AgernCell phones, e-mails, texts, and the Internet are great tools and helpful communication devices. However, if you and your spouse are having dinner and you're both more involved with texting other people rather than talking to each other, or if you'd rather spend hours on the computer chatting with someone else, playing games or doing anything that is keeping you from interacting with your husband or wife, then it's time to step away from your communication device. Any time extra time you have that you spend away from your spouse rather than with them is definitely going to help your marriage to fail.rn5. InfidelityrnDo you really have to be told why this is damaging? No, of course you don't. But having close relationships with members of the opposite sex that don't involve your spouse, you keep hidden from your spouse, even have only if it's online and doesn't involve sex, is just as much of a betrayal as if you were having a physical relationship. If you can't share everything you share with this other person with your spouse, if you feel the slightest twinge of guilt or wonder if it's inappropriate, then you shouldn't be doing it. Whether or not it escalates into a full-blown affair, it's still wrong. But if you want to provide a little extra push to help your marriage fail, keep it up.rnThe important thing to remember is that most people don't want their marriage to end in divorce. When they stood up to take their vows, they meant every word of it. But bad habits and poor judgment can just as easily provide help for a marriage to end as if you purposely set out to destroy it.