Abuse vs. Building Your Self-Esteem

“Above all, challenge yourself. You may well surprise yourself at what strengths you have, what you can accomplish.” - Cecile M. Springer

When you find yourself stuck in an abusive or a bullying situation, try building up your self-esteem. Whether the abuse you experience is domestic or social, physical or emotional, mental or verbal, including all forms of bullying, it deeply affects your self-esteem. Your will to function freely is taken away.

Since 2004, three out of four (74%) respondents personally know someone who is, or has been a victim of domestic violence. #

Among all adults, 39% say they have experienced at least one of the following, with 54% saying they have not experienced any of the following:

Called bad names (31%)
Pushing, slapping, choking or hitting (21%)
Public humiliation (19%)
Keeping away from friends or family (13%)
Threatening your family (10%)
Forcing you to have sexual intercourse without consent (9%) #

Since then these statistics have increased yearly, and so many more go unreported! What will it take to reverse this unhealthy behavior? When victims are able to stand up for themselves, fight back, and regain their self-esteem, society may experience the necessary change.

Breaking the chain of low self-esteem is one way. Even though it seems like a monumental task to create a change, low self-esteem and insecurity actually stop your ability to break the chain. To truly make the effort start with one step at a time.

· The first step is realizing your own self-worth.

This may be difficult, yet, once you practice it, you will be on the road to a better you. Self-worth is crucial. It is a necessary part of your survival. When your self-respect is mistreated over and over again, your will to be productive, your outlook about life, and just about everything else becomes affected. This unhealthy chain must be broken.

· The next step requires you to look at what causes your low self-esteem and your lack of confidence.

Stand up for your own well-being, your peace of mind, and know that you deserve the best treatment from another person. It is your right. Most often, low self-esteem starts during your early years from the relationships you and your families experience. Once you establish what triggered your feelings of low self-esteem, you can then move on.

How can you recognize any inner conflicts you may have developed over time? Did a family member mistreat you over some trivial situation? Did you feel like the least favorite in the family? Or, were you picked last over others in a school activity? Were you a victim of mean verbal attacks?

Any number of situations leads to insecurity and low self-worth. Once you discover when your first feelings of insecurity began, then you can start eliminating them. Face your feelings head-on. Admit and accept that your experience with imperfect relationships is very important, and not your fault. Then decide to not be offended or mistreated by the actions of someone else again.

This starts the healing process. It is the real heart of the healing journey. You have to constantly decide to not be treated like a victim who suffers at the hands of another. Make the choice to see that the world is a better place when you are not hurting or in pain.

Just knowing that you do not have to continue letting others hurt or offend you, you can move away from the situation and focus on getting your life back. Always remember that the way you experience your life is a matter of choosing the way you wish to be treated.

Seek support and stop believing you are a victim. Find the strength to counter unhealthy behavior. Instead of telling yourself that you are unworthy, deal with the facts. Believing negative thoughts others may hold toward you destroys your self-esteem.

Do you believe you are valuable? Do you believe you are a strong and healthy individual? You can be just as beautiful on the inside as you can on the outside. Increase the knowledge you have about yourself. What are your good points? Your desires? Your goals? How can you make your life better? Then go on to confirm it and build your self-esteem.