Affluent Spousal Abuse - Battered Queens: When the Rich Are Entangled in Abusive Relationships

Common thinking is that domestic violence is a misfortune that befalls the lower class. We hear about them more, we see more of them, we have public services to care for their needs...but that doesn’t make them in the majority when it comes to domestic abuse. nnI would venture to say that we are looking at a relative representation of the population; not a socio-economic indicator of domestic abuse.nnWould you know a battered queen if you saw one? Moreover, would you recognize yourself as one if that were indeed the case?nnWho Are the Battered Queens?nnBattered queens come in all shapes and sizes. They can be doctors, lawyers, movie stars, financial experts.... They may be stay at home moms who drive a Mercedes, manage multiple household employees and spend as much on an outfit as most people spend on a season’s wardrobe.nnSpending the family money is often their punishment to their abuser for physical battery, assault and spousal emotional abuse. It’s one of their contributions to the cycle of abuse. They love it and they hate it, at the same time.nnThey are usually in the largest and most tightly sealed closet, and they represent the biggest elephants under the carpet. Why? Because the implications of their “coming out” can be far more deadly than for others who are battered.nnThey know their financial privilege is part of their problem and realize their abusive partner has an endless army to draw upon to maintain control. Often times, this is the primary reason they stay in the abusive relationship.nnThe Risk of Leaving an Abusive Relationship for Battered QueensnnTheir exits pose extreme risks to themselves and to their children because there is much fuel to feed many extensions of the abuser. So on the way out, the abuse can—and more often than not—multiply exponentially overnight. Many are buried in, and by, the ordeal.nnFor some there is an inward comfort in knowing that their abuser is preoccupied with abusing them through the courts, rather than taking matters into the streets. The damage they sustain by virtue of their expensive exit out from the abusive relationship can be equally devastating.nnRay of Hope for Battered QueensnnIf you are a battered queen, know you are not alone. There are services for you, though they will be diamonds in the rough. Further, know you can use your family privilege to aid in your survival if you play your hand wisely. Lastly don’t give up on yourself or on the possibility of breaking-free with your life, liberties and integrity in tack.