After the Abusive Relationship: Long-Term Aid for Domestic Abuse Survivors

Do what you’re called to do and the universe will support you. You’ve probably heard this, but may be scratching your head thinking about your bills, responsibilities and all of the what ifs...nnThis is understandable. So rather than jump in with blind faith, I want to invite your everyday casual, rational mind to do what you’re called to do. And then, address the missing link domestic abuse survivors commonly bring to the table.nnDoing What You’re Called to Do Is Your JOBnnWhen you’re doing what you’re called to do, what happens? nna) You lose yourself in what you’re doing and the activity in many respects does itself. It’s effortless. It’s performed without strain or resistance of any kind.nnb) Time stops as you do it and you feel stress-free...at ease, and your performance approximates excellence.nnc) Resources show up to support what you’re doing and the continuation of your doing it.nnIt’s as though the universe wants you to be happy, is looking for excellence, and is willing to support that which makes you fulfilled to also benefit those around you.nnDomestic Abuse Survivors Doing What You’re Called to DonnNow to do this that we’re called to do, we must first know what that is and second honor it. This honoring part is what domestic violence survivors often struggle with the most. And this, too, is understandable. nnYou see when you’re living in an abusive relationship, one of your survival mechanisms is to put forward what your abusive partner needs to hear and see to keep peace in your home.nnThus, life in the abusive relationship is not about supporting and honoring what you love, but rather discrediting what you love and grooming your honoring what your partner loves. In many cases, there is also a sting added to this grooming (conditioning) in which you may even be punished (negatively rewarded for honoring that which you love).nnFor example, in my own life, I can vividly remember hiding newspaper articles featuring my work, in prestigious publications, under the bed when I lived in an abusive relationship. Why did I do this? I did this to avoid the blowout that would follow my former abusive partner’s discovery of my achievements and recognition by others.nnThe net result of this is you lose your inclination to honor what you’re called to do and of course with this comes the need to recreate the habit of honoring what you love. As you invite this honoring in, practice it and enjoy it, then doing what you’re called to do becomes effortless, natural and plain good sense for yourself and for all those around you.