Parenting 2011

He was ten-years-old as he tossed the wiffle ball over his head. The ball, taken over by gravity began it's decent. He timed it perfectly as he hit the ball making that plastic on plastic "wap." The ball sailed, and as it sailed it was if a well directed movie caught everything on tape. As the ball sailed, for that split second, time rapidly sped forward. That ten-year-old boy was now sitting in front of a lap top typing an article for a self growth website. It was not that long ago when he walked into a high school class room where large archaic machines were used to type letters and documents. The black ribbon would move up and down embossing the metal keys into paper. Times change. It is a fact, a law of nature. If this is such a certainty then why do parents hang onto their dogmatic parenting skills when attempts are made to help, or correct? Why do parents throw up a defensive wall that would make the the Great Wall of China look like a picket fence? Parents for the most part have difficulty accepting and acknowledging change. Some of this defensive , dogmatic stance is cultural false beliefs. If my parents did an okay job with me then why would it not work for my child? Another factor is basic insecurity, and the ease of exte
alizing blame onto the clear acting out behavior. "It cannot be me, I am not the one smoking the joint, failing the class or talking back." There is just no respect anymore for authority. As a therapist I cannot count how many times I have heard, "this is how my parents did it and I am just fine damn it." Change is inevitable. Our bodies change, our environment changes, technology changes, and our parenting skills MUST change with the times or we will have difficulty. Wiffle balls still exist, but when is the last time you drove through a residential area in the summer time and saw children hitting a wiffle ball? We must look at these simple changes and then extrapolate that something is at work here bigger than us. "CHANGE" is happening hence our parenting must change and we must find humility and realize we can learn from all sources if we open up our mind to it. I consistently make mistakes and will consistently make more mistakes as I become a grandparent. I also know I will read, listen and love that grandchild. Parenting in 2011 is clearly different that 1911 and it will be much different in 2111. Recognition is key in parenting. Recognition not of the acting out child, but recognition of our defensive posture, our fear of doing the wrong intervention, and we must STOP exte
alizing blame on everything from teachers, therapists, yellow dye, pen raised chickens, and caffeine. Parenting is taking responsibility. Not taking responsibility for your children, but taking responsibility for you first and foremost. When we recognize change and how technology has impacted everyone's lives,as well as the want for immediate need gratification which is occurring faster and faster, then we can modify our parenting. How do we modify parenting? We must start out when our children are young. Recognize the speed of technology, and begin by slowing those youngsters down a tad. Teaching core values of integrity, humility and honesty will always hold true no matter how much change occurs. These values become swept under the rug because our society has become so needy with immediate wants and needs. Look at yourself, Learn how to introspect as a parent, and please be aware of when you are being defensive. This is crucial for I am here to tell you, your children are learning that defensive posture and you my dear parent are their hero, their role model. Remember tomorrow you will help your child play "Cut the Rope" on an Ipad. As you turn the Ipad off lay your head on the pillow that night, you might wake up with your child wanting to borrow the smart key to the hover craft. Times change rapidly. Just close your eyes to your last hit with your own plastic bat as the ball sailed into the sky of father time.