Breathe More, Think Less

You're probably familiar with the cognitive-behavior technique known as "thought stopping," used to cope with stressful and anxiety-intensifying thoughts and ideas during panic attacks, as well as with negative self-statements in depression. I've never found this technique particularly useful, for me or my clients; even worse, its emphasis on replacing such thoughts with verbal affirmations means you're trying to address a maladaptive mental habit by prescribing that very habit. In other words, the problem isn't negative verbal thoughts but verbal thought in general.

This isn't true for everyone, but many of my clients turned to verbal thought at a very early age in an effort to master trauma, anxiety, major depression and the kind of emotional damage that leads to basic shame. They've spent a lifetime coping with every emotional challenge by thinking about it. That might sound like a positive endeavor -- thinking is supposed to be a good thing, right? -- but in fact, it's a kind of defense, where mentally/verbally describing an experience feels like a way of exerting control over it, in an almost a magical way. The person who has developed this kind of defense tends to be very articulate, was often verbally precocious as a child, and over-values language. As one of my clients once told me, "The only good to be found in suffering is if you can describe it well."

Are you the sort of person who, in the privacy of your thoughts, is constantly talking to yourself about your experience? Does your mental life consist of an endless stream of words in your head? I'm one of these people, and I've incorporated some ideas and techniques from eastern meditative practice to help me stem the verbal flow. It puts me more in contact with my body, and makes me aware of feelings and sensations I'm often trying to avoid with all those words.

The second half of this article, about "Finding Your Own Way," can be found on my website at http://www.afterpsychotherapy.com/breathe-more-think-less

Please visit the site and have a look around. I welcome your feedback.