Building Trust With Our Children

As parents we have an incredible influence on the level of our children’s self-esteem. The knowledge of this can create some fear, and even guilt with how we may be parenting, but the answer to developing a depth of trust that creates a healthy self-esteem is a lot simpler then we sometimes make it.

We often go to extremes in exposing our children to different experiences, and boosting their confidence with praise, and enrolling them in a myriad of activities to hone their skills and talents. All of this is done with the best of intentions, and the underlying core is that we want our children to grow up with a healthy self-esteem…and in a nutshell, to be happy. But the solution need not be so complicated.

We have sometimes lost sight of the fact that the solution to reaching a deep and meaningful relationship with our children boils down to one thing…communication.

We get caught up in the rat race and speed of life, running them around from activity to activity that we’ve lost the simplest form of influence in their life…conversation. One of the most effective forms of creating high levels of self-esteem and confidence is letting them know that they are heard and they are seen; that they’re not just some project that we need to mould and transform.

Creating a safe place for trust is monumental in opening the doors to building a relationship with our children that lets them know we are always there for them. By being a stable source in their lives creates a security and foundation that allows them to grow into who they are. By knowing you are the source, you will become the sounding-board they need as they grow, experience and explore.

What I’ve found to be effective with my children is having established a “safe place.” This doesn’t necessarily have to be a static place, but can be more of an energetic safety zone where they can talk to you openly. I let my children know that whenever they ask to speak in the “safe place” that they are able to share whatever they want with me, without the fear of me getting angry, judging, and having to “fix” whatever is going on for them.

The “safe place” is a place to let go of their fears, conce
s, and troubling thoughts, as well as ask questions. Having done this has led to some truly amazingly conversations, and has laid the groundwork for building a relationship of trust and acceptance.

If you are wanting to develop a depth of trust with your children that paves the way for building a strong self-esteem and sense of self, I believe starting with a “safe place” is a great place to start!