Caring for an Unloving Parent

Question:nnI was raised by an insensitive, unloving cruel, selfish man. Intentionally cruel and enjoyed it.nnHe has caused me much heart ache by not giving me the love and care that I so much deserved. I am sick and fatigued.nnHe is old and sick and has had a good life and now I find myself feeling compassion for him. He still treats me disrespectfully, but I still help him because my brother who he has given everything to (because he is a boy, he is cruel and selfish also) does not help at all, he just takes money from my dad.nnI do not get or ask for anything. My question to you is that I feel that I should do this but I do not know why because I do not enjoy being with him because he is still not nice. I just feel sorry for him.nn Am I doing the right thing, or am I harming myself by being around this negative person who makes me feel inferior and not loved, but used?nn I trust your spiritual intuition and I hope that you will answer this question for me.nn Will this help, or damage my spiritual growth?n nAnswer:n nI wouldn’t encourage you do this out of pity and obligation, especially if it just makes you feel unloved and inferior. On the other hand you have said you feel compassion for him and do not look for anything from him. To help you find clarity I think you may need to explore your core motivations more deeply. If in fact your inner pull to be with him is not based on a secret hope that he will make amends for your loveless upbringing, and is coming from a place of compassion and acceptance for who he is beyond his behavior and beliefs, then I would say caring for him is simply your nature and it is healthy for you. More than that it is a demonstration of how your true strength, beauty and goodness has risen above blossomed despite the hurtful beginnings.n nThe lotus that grows out of the mud symbolizes how our spiritual essence and beauty is not limited or defined by the circumstances of our origins.n nLove,nDeepak