Choose Your Course; Never Look Back

I can still recall this moment clearly, even though it happened over 20 years ago: I was leaving my first "corporate" job as a statistical programmer to work for a little start-up company (now known as Biogen Idec) as one of only two biostatisticians. It was a big leap in responsibility and skill level for me, and I was moving across country (Northern Califo
ia to Cambridge, Massachusetts) to grab this opportunity to grow. Many people at the old job stopped by on my last day to give me their best wishes. Among them, a high-level director came by to personally wish me well, and he told me he was sure I would do well in my new position.

I was flattered by this, and it meant a great deal to me because I had doubts: doubts that I would do well; doubts that I made the "right" decision (because I had already established a stellar reputation where I was); doubts that I would be better off in Massachusetts, where I knew no one. So I asked this director about his career path; if he ever regretted any of the decisions he made; if he ever asked himself "what if..." He didn't answer my question but instead offered: "Joanne, here's my advice for you: choose your course and never look back." It became my mantra whenever self-doubt crept in.

Twenty-plus years later I still use this mantra when I am having trouble moving forward or find myself doubting my choices. You see, we will have doubts from time to time. Whenever there is uncertainty or lack of complete information (which we introverts crave) it is natural and expected to have doubt. Doubt becomes a problem only when it paralyzes you. Furthermore, the paralysis reinforces the doubt; action is a powerful antidote to self-doubt. By taking action, you often gain the information that was missing; an uncertainty becomes a certainty. In my case, by taking action (moving across country and taking the new job) I soon discovered that: Yes, I did well; yes I made the right decision (at the time); No I was not better off in Massachusetts. [Yet I lived to tell the tale, no harm done.]

I'm not sure if introverts experience self-doubt more often than those more extroverted. But it makes sense that we might be more prone to it because we spend more time self-reflecting. That is, we create more opportunities to realize we don't have complete information. And I would hazard a guess that introverts find it more distressing to have doubts, again because we tend to focus more on our inward journey.

Next time you're faced with self-doubt, take heart. You are definitely not alone, and it's completely natural. Acknowledge the doubt and don't resist it. Then, make your choice or decision, take action, and never look back. If you must look somewhere, look ahead, because that's where your answers lie!

(c) 2009 Joanne Julius Hunold