Contentment: Does it Equal Happiness?

Are you “content” with what you have? Do you feel grateful for all the good things in your life right now? Do you want nothing more than what you have - or are - today? Or, are you frustrated, or even “unhappy”, because you want (or even feel you need) more? Some people believe the only way to be happy is to be content with what you have, without wanting or needing more. Inherent in that philosophy is the belief that if you want more, you can never be happy since, if you aren’t content with what you have now, you will always want more – regardless of what you achieve or get in life. There are many quotes by well-known people that support this “contentment equals happiness” notion. Here are just a few of them: “That man is richest whose pleasures are cheapest.”n- Henry David Thoreau “If you are not happy here and now, you never will be.”n- Taisen Deshimaru “Happiness is a function of accepting what is.”n- Werner Erhard “The best way for a person to have happy thoughts is to count his blessings and not his cash.”n- Author Unknown “Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for.”n- Epicurus “We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have.”n- Frederick Keonig There is undoubtedly lots of truth to this “contentment” philosophy of happiness. Essentially, if you have a small 500 square foot home, an old Toyota that works “most of the time”, a job that barely pays the bills – and you want or need nothing more than this – then I can understand how you might be quite “content”. But does this mean you are truly “happy”? I believe the answer is – maybe and maybe not. And, beyond that, how does this contentment philosophy get balanced with the desire to improve your life – and provide a better life for your family (in other words – wanting more)? How does it create any positive expectations for the future – which is a key component of creating the happiest possible life (the fundamental goal of this BeHappy! system)? This is quite a complex issue – and, I believe, it’s not so “cut-and-dry”. nnIs it bad, for example, to want to someday move from that 500 square foot house into a new 5,000 square foot home? Is it terrible to want a brand new Lexus, Mercedes, or Porsche rather than stay with that 1985 Toyota? Should you not want to expand your career and get a job that not only pays the bills, but also provides surplus income that allows you certain luxuries like travel, nicer clothes, the best education possible for your children, and some nice furnishings for that 5,000 square foot home? I believe the answer is … you can have both – contentment and wants or desires. Many people, including me, call them goals. That is, you can be content with what you have AND strive for a better life – yes, even want certain material possessions (like a nicer and bigger house, a new car, and more “toys”).nnGratitude is certainly a key to happiness in life. And, you can be grateful for what you have – and need nothing more. The fact is, you can also want more at the same time – without being unhappy. You can (and should) have goals. Happiness and desiring more are, therefore, not mutually exclusive. Again, this gets complicated. And the difficult part is to train your mind – both consciously and subconsciously – to gain pleasure from both, Gratitude AND Goals. I call it the “G2” mentality (Gratitude & Goals): That is - be GRATEFUL for what you have (with a mindset of abundance) - AND simultaneously have GOALS (which will create positive expectations for the future) … and you will BeHappy! Just make sure you have both – Gratitude AND Goals (G2). If one is missing, you’ll either never be able to make your life better or you’ll never have enough – and always feel like you need more. Here’s how to achieve the G2 mentality: It’s best to work on the Gratitude component first. There are many ways to be more grateful – and even become a grateful person. There are tools and strategies throughout the behappy101.com website to help in this process. Here are a few:nn- The Three Great Things exercisen- Take Picturesn- The Losing It All exercisen- The You Don’t Have it Bad exercise Once you’ve started to develop the “habit” of being grateful (don’t worry – it could take a while for it to be “automatic”) you should then focus on becoming goal-oriented in your quest for a better quality of life. Start working on the first ‘G’ - Gratitude - and you’ll start feeling a difference in your emotional state and your entire outlook on life very quickly. This is especially true and effective during difficult times like we’re experiencing right now in our economy. Then click here to help with your goal-setting process. The bottom line to all this is that contentment and wanting more are not mutually exclusive. In fact, I believe to BeHappy! - and lead the happiest possible life - we MUST have both. nnBeHappy! my friends