Define The Moment

"When a defining moment comes along, you can do one of two things. Define the moment, or let the moment define you".

This quote is from the Movie, "Tin Cup". It's about making choices. It's about living without regret because you let something in your past define who you think you are or what you can or cannot do.

Webster's Dictionary defines Free Will as:

1 : voluntary choice or decision - I do this of my own free will-

2 : freedom of humans to make choices that are not determined by prior causes or by divine intervention

The second definition resounds with so much truth. To have free will, we make a choice that is not about our past experiences, our failures, our feelings about ourselves. It's when we make a choice based on what feels RIGHT in the moment. It can be as simple as going on a date for the first time and ignoring the self talk that tells you it will probably not go well and that he'll have bad breath like the last. It can be as complicated as having anxiety in the days leading up to your wedding and choosing to go ahead because you love this person and not desisting because you don't feel worthy of someone so amazing. These are all real examples from clients I've worked with. Every person is the TRUE source of his or her thoughts and actions.

Within every moment is the beauty of free will. No one holds a gun to your head to make you do anything. Even someone's cruel words towards you have no effect when you know who you are. There again is free will. The choice to choose to act of what is said or done to you, or to ignore it so that their words fall off you like water off a ducks back.

If you listen to your gut, if you open to your intuition, you will make the right decision in the moment. How many times have you done something, basing the choice on what your head tells you and not your heart. And how many times have you told yourself, "I should have listened to my gut" because your head led you in the wrong direction. I know I have.

Don't rush when making choices, no matter how important they may be. It is in the quiet space between the musical notes that you find the meaning, through emotion (how it moves you), of the piece. Without that quiet, it would all be noise.

Mediate, or just stop,close your eyes, and go inside yourself. And in that silence, put out and compare your choices. The one that echoes back to you with joy, relief, warmth, happiness, calmness, or quietness is the one to go with. It is the one your heart and soul know is right for you. And that feeling will come in the now, not from the past. Such a simple technique yet so powerful.

Then .. act! You've defined the moment by making a choice that felt right to you and for you.

"Life is like a game of cards. The hand that is dealt you represents determinism; the way you play it is free will". Jawaharal Nehru