Developing Good Decision Making Skills in Your Child

Decision making is similar to a muscle and as it is used over and over again it becomes stronger and stronger. Allowing your child to make a decision on what clothes he or she wants to wear and what food he or she wants to eat can help to strengthen your child’s decision making muscle. nnThe toy section is where many children enjoy visiting when they go to the store. When they are told they can buy one item, they get very excited. However, when it comes to deciding what to buy, they may have a difficult time making up their minds. Encouraging your child to make decisions can be a daunting task, because it seems to take so much time for a child to make a decision. However, by becoming a patient parent, your child will learn how to make decisions quicker.nnIf your child makes a decision that you do not agree with, unless it is a life or death decision, discuss with your child why he or she made that decision and then let your child know what you as a parent would have done. If a decision causes a bad consequence, allow your child to explain what he or she would have done differently. Good decision making is a skill that is gained over time through experience. Allowing your child the opportunity to make bad decisions will make him or her more thoughtful about the decisions he or she makes later on.nnThe main key to allowing your child the ability to make decision is to be understanding and not try to control the situation. Allowing your child to flex his or her decision making skills will bring many rewards to your child and to you as a parent when you see your child excel in everything that he or she does.nnThe Mine ComplexnnThe easiest response from a child when it comes to sharing is, “Mine!” and “I don’t want to share”. Children begin the “mine complex” at an early age as they discover they have possessions that belong to them and start to develop their decision making skills. They begin to extend the boundaries of what is truly theirs to include everything they want. nnSharing can be a challenging, but a very important, learning experience for a child. Learning to share teaches children awareness of others and of the needs of others. Not learning how to share develops an adult who can be very confrontational if their needs aren’t met or can make them very stingy. Both actions can cause a person to be friendless and feel all alone in the world. In order to prevent your child from alienating the world, encourage them to share early on.nnFor a start, encourage your child to share his or her toys with friends and siblings. However, do not ever force your child to share his or her toys because doing so can create a sense of powerlessness in your child. Rather, ask your child to share and direct them how to share. For instance, if your little boy or girl does not want to share his or her colored pencils, explain to your child how the other child who would like to use the colored pencils feels when he or she can not use them. Many times verbal communication can help to help your child realize that he or she wants to share. nnModeling sharing by parents can help to teach a child what sharing is about. Volunteering at a homeless shelter or with foster children and allowing your child to participate in the volunteer work will encourage your child to share his or her time. There are many opportunities to volunteer that a child can participate with.nnSometimes putting others before yourself is difficult, but the rewards of friendship and the satisfaction of knowing you helped someone are worth it. Children will reap many benefits when you encourage them to share.