Differing Paths in Relationship

Question:nnI'm trying as much as I can to think by myself about my deep questions but this one I thought, I really need to ask you, because I feel stuck: a year and a half ago, I fell deeply in love with a man. It was 'love at first sight' and felt so completely obvious that "he was the one", even if I did not know him at all at the time. Something I had never experienced before him (nor after him, at least so far!). We now live together and are building our relationship day after day.n nBut I've been changing since we met: becoming more and more aware of the "interconnectedness of all things", and therefore the importance for me to live in better harmony with nature and take care of the environment; I also became aware of how powerful I can be, to act upon my reality and that way, contribute positive something to this world ("being the change", right?;).n nThis had led me making some changes in my life: I quit my job to set up my own company in the field of corporate social responsibility, got rid of my car (I do live in Europe, distances are smaller!) to use public transportation, reduced my own consumption of industrial goods... and I'm feeling much happier now than before. I'm also supporting a couple of environmental movements and have developed stronger opinions in the political field.n nI'm now 29, and honestly so far, I had never paid any attention to all of this. My fiancé, he, is observing the changes and, while he does agree with some of my views, he says I am 'naive'; that, for example, the current economic crisis will not lead to any changes in the system, that people will continue to pursue their selfish interest etc, that wars will always exist, etc. And so he doesn't believe he or I can do anything about all this. And I am so strongly convinced of the opposite, that I suffer from this a lot. I suffer from the fact that he perceives life or reality, that way. I tell him he's a pessimist, he tells me he's a realist.n nI think this perception is so negative, that, to be completely blunt: I wonder if I want to spend my life with someone who views life that way. And at the same time, I always remember your talking about "angry peace activists" at the UN and I (think I) get the point and I want to try not to be that either. I'm thinking, maybe he will change, after all, I wasn't always like that; but at the same time, I know I shouldn't expect him to change.nnI would be so happy to get your insights.nnAnswer:n nIt’s natural enough to want your lover to join you in your views and actions, but it is certainly not essential. Know tht you tow can have a mutually rewarding life together even though you have differing approaches. It is far more important that you share a love that is moving you both forward. This divergence in perspectives can be a opportunity for you two to figure out how you can serve each other through your individual paths.nBeyond this I would add that it is vital that there be real respect for each others’ ideas, not just tolerance. Try to avoid labeling each other as “naïve” or “pessimistic.” If you can move forward on the basis of love and respect, you make a partnership that creates something beautiful.n nLove,nDeepak