Article

Divorce Help... That Helps -- How to Survive Divorce and Recover Quickly

Topic: DivorceFeaturing Beth Banning & Neill GibsonPublished July 26, 2007

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Does your whole life seem to be up in the air--even familiar things don't seem the same? Are you confused about what to do now, where to go from here or how to heal a broken heart? Whether or not you instigated the divorce, it may seem as though a tornado has whirled its way through your life, leaving wreckage everywhere. Surviving your divorce and re-creating your life into one that's fun, peaceful, and full of joy may take some time, but it is completely doable. Read on to discover five tips for fast divorce recovery.nnSurvival and Recovery Tips:nn1. Put your oxygen mask on first--When you're in an airplane the flight attendant always advises you to put your mask on first, even before helping your children. The same applies here; you are no good to yourself or anyone else until YOU are taken care of and whole.nn2. Have a pleasure plan--Whether we're in the middle of something as heartbreaking and upsetting as a divorce or not, the fact is we all need a gift of pleasure. Doing things that we enjoy and things that give us pleasure, rejuvenate and enliven us. Make a list of 10 things you love doing, and start doing them.nn3. Remember you're not alone--Even though there are times during a divorce that you may feel very lonely, you always have YOU. You can learn to be your own best friend by discovering what's most important to you. These basic values are hidden beneath the storm of feelings that will be coming up as you cope with the divorce. For example, underneath profound sadness there might be regret of a dream lost. Under depression, there could be judgment of yourself because you wish you had done things differently. When you are able to dig beneath your feelings to discover what's most important to you, you will have found the best friend you've ever had.nn4. Look to the future--Planning your new life as you want it to be--not just making plans for what you think you can get, or just taking whatever comes along--is essential for a fast recovery from divorce. Start visualizing exactly how you want your new life to look. Creating a clear intention for your new life is the fastest way to get it. Why? Because what you focus your attention on grows.nn5. Be open to miracles--Even during hard times some amazing things can happen if you're open to them and watching out for them. Start looking for things you can be grateful for at this moment, even in the midst of all the chaos. Is it a little more peaceful coming home to a quiet house? Did you want to lose a few pounds and with all the stress, you did? Did a friend call and just let you talk? What ever it is for you, large or small, gratitude is the first step to seeing miracles happen in your life.

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