Do Assumptions Serve Us?

Why do our thoughts often lead us to assumptions? We are investigators by our natural make-up, which leads to assuming what others are thinking or doing.

This is how it works for some of us: when our friend disappears for awhile from our lives, most of us start an investigation in our thoughts as to what may have happened between this friend and ourselves. It could be that the friend is very busy or that some emergency has come up and they haven’t had chance to let us know, or it maybe something private that they don’t want us to know.

However, through our scrutiny we make assumptions that they are upset with us, we then look for a cause that isn’t always there. We roll over the facts as we see them and delve into conversations and possibilities that could have triggered this upset between us. Through all of this inquisition we lose the simple logic that this probably doesn’t have anything to do with us after all.

Many of us speculate quite a bit through our lives. It may not be about a friend as there are so many aspects to the human conditions, which may lead to many other things we could possibly make assumptions about. However, any assumption about anything is too great a task to delve into with clarity and then expect to come to a truth.

“We will distort the information we receive to reinforce the conditions of what we expect from life.” Don Miguel Ruiz Jr.(The Five Levels of Attachment)

Through insecurities within ourselves we let our mind run our lives with old beliefs that do not serve us. Our investigational mind takes these old beliefs and we allow it to falsify the information that is received.

This happens a great deal in relationships where there is no trust. A person assumes that a partner is doing wrong and then turns every stone over to track down illusive information, like a ferret, until finally he or she finds something that, although exaggerated and inaccurate, fits their investigation.

They then interrogate the partner in question. The relationship cannot always survive the false accusations that have been made, the damage has been done. Ultimately the investigator will then cry for days, weeks, months or perhaps years at the devastating results.

“If you are distressed about anything exte
al, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment.”
Marcus Aurelius Antoninus Augustus (121-180)

It doesn’t mean that we should allow people in our lives to do whatever they want to do to us. It means that speculation doesn’t serve us. We break the habit of assumptions by giving trust. We have to love ourselves first and then respect ourselves thus, we draw into our lives trustworthy people and relationships.

When we are in a relationship that is built on trust then we magnetize trust to us, in other words, what we expect will be drawn to us. Our relationships with partners, friends and family members will be trustworthy and valuable. However, we must first value ourselves before we can value others.

When we give into false assumptions we allow these false premises to take over. We believe that these ideas are true and make our lives miserable by following this incorrect guesswork that we cling to.

Trust is assurance that we will draw dependable people to our lives. This Universe is filled with indisputable laws of Trust, Harmony and Enduring Love, and all we have to do to acquire it is leave the assumptions behind and build a life of trust. We see great changes take place when we do.

“First keep the peace within yourself, then you can also bring peace to others.”
Thomas A Kempis (1380-1471)