Do It Yourself Prison

We all live somewhere.nnSome of us live in our nice comfy houses.nSome of us live in our big palatial mansions.nSome in our trendy apartments.nSome of us live in our modest bungalows.nnAnd some of us live in prison. nnJail (gaol).nThe big house.nThe slammer.nThe slot.nThe pen.nThe joint.nnIn fact, many of us live in a prison.nMore people than you might think.nMillions in fact.nIn fact, lots of people you know personally.nnPossibly you.nnMany of us live in a place where there are so many rules, limitations and restrictions that we live in constant fear of doing the wrong thing. Constant fear of upsetting the warden or the other in-mates and constant fear of rocking the boat or getting into trouble.nIn fact, we are so determined to not break the rules that we hardly do anything.nWe play it safe.nnWe don't say what we think, we don't have an opinion, we don't eyeball people (dangerous in the big house), we don't make waves, we don't take chances, we don't wander far from our cell and above all, we never consider escape.nWe all know what happens on the outside.nIt's a jungle.nnYou get hurt.nnPrison ain't fun but at least we know what to expect; the predictability, the routine... and we know the rules.nAnd the rules control what we do and don't do.nAlways.nWe know our limitations and we don't step over the line.nEver.nIt's not fulfilling, exciting, rewarding or fun... but at least it's safe.nnKind of.nnYes, I'm speaking metaphorically... but the reality is that many of us build our own prison and then choose to live in it forever.nWe may not do it consciously or intentionally... but we do it.nWe create rules for ourselves that make it impossible to be happy.nThe very thing we don't want (to be unhappy), we create.nnAnd then we wake up one day and we realise that we've been living in our own personal DIY prison for years.nnSome of us create our own prison where there are actually more rules and limitations than in a real prison. Sometimes (now's as good a time as any) it's interesting (necessary even) to explore where we live and why we live there... and perhaps how we might relocate.nnMaybe to something a little bigger.nWhere there is more space and less rules.nA place beyond our (current state of) mind.nnAnd when I say... 'where we live', you know I don't mean our physical address.nI mean where we spend most of our time emotionally and psychologically.nHow we think, decide, react, communicate, process, interpret, rationalise, explain, relate, cope.nnHow we see our world... and us in it.nnI've done some work speaking in prisons and I gotta tell ya, they're not that much fun.nI've also done some work with people who have never been near a (real) jail.... yet in many ways, they are more 'imprisoned' that anyone I've ever met on the inside.nnThey have become prisoners of their own mind; their thinking, their attitudes, their beliefs and way too often, prisoners of their all-consuming fear.nnThey are so scared of so many things that they create their own psychological and emotional prison. A place where the walls are so high that they can never get out... and conversely, nobody can ever get in.nnFear is the ultimate prison for many.nnIt's where some of us live 24/7.nA prison that doesn't need to exist.nnThere's good, healthy, appropriate fear (the one that shows we're not idiots).nAnd then there's the fear that controls minds, breaks spirits, extinguishes potential, kills dreams and destroys relationships and lives.nIt's unnecessary and destructive.nnI don't know what you're scared of, but you do.nnHere are some of the biggies I deal with in my work:nn* Fear of failure.n* Fear of disappointing others.n* Fear of being physically hurt.n* Fear of embarrassment.n* Fear of death.n* Fear of being alone.n* Fear of being unattractive.n* Fear of commitment.n* Fear of being not needed or wanted.n* Fear of a loved one dying.nnI can't tell you (specifically) how to deal with your (personal) fears... but I can tell you (from personal and professional experience) that facing up to, and overcoming your fears is one of the most liberating and fulfilling 'growth experiences' you will ever have.nnYou will so wish you had done it sooner.nSo many people (the majority) tell me things like:nn"I wish I did that five years ago."nn"I feel like a massive weight has been lifted off my shoulders."nn"I don't know what I was so scared of."nnFacing our fears makes us stronger, more capable, more adaptable and ultimately, happier.nSometimes we need to employ a little of that righteous anger and get a little pissed at the thing (issue, habit, situation, fear) which has held us captive for way too long.nnIf this post speaks to you, then why don't you do something in the next twenty four hours to break down the walls of that psychological and emotional prison.... something which scares you but needs to be addressed.nnMake a life-changing decision.nStand up to someone.nGet uncomfortable.nTake a chance.nStop being 'safe'.nBe uncharacteristically adventurous.nnI know it's tough... but I know you can do it.nWhere we live and how we live... is a choice; not always an easy or comfortable one but it is.. a choice.nnWhat's it gonna be for you, the big house or freedom?nnLet me know how you go.