Do Unto Others (Or Not!)

I don't know about you, but if someone finishes that sentence with, "as you would do unto yourself," I'd run screaming from the room! Why, you ask? Have you seen the way people treat themselves? Here's a case in point.

I was home over the Christmas holidays to visit my mom. And, everyday I would catch her saying things like, "I look so fat", or "I can't believe I forgot that - how stupid." My wonderful mom was continually bashing herself.

So, one day I asked her, "Mom, what would you do if Dad were here, saying those same things to you?" (You know - "You're fat", "You're stupid.") She defiantly declared that she would tell him to go take a hike! And rightly so.

Then here's the question. Why would she do the same things to herself that she would never allow anyone else to do to her?

Importantly, my mom's not alone. It's a phenomeno
I've witnessed in my Coaching practice, in my circle of friends, and in my own life. You see, what we don't always realize (at least consciously) is that we're in a relationship with ourselves. The most important relationship of our lives, as a matter of fact. And we need to start giving ourselves the love, respect and attention we would want from any other relationship.

So, do this. Make a list of all of the qualities you want in a best friend (e.g., kind, loving, thoughtful, etc.). Got ‘em? OK, then make another list of all the things you want from a best friend (e.g., you'd want them to spend intentional time with you, to say they love you, to do something nice for you on a bad day, etc.).

Now, check your relationship with yourself against those two lists. How kind, loving or thoughtful have you been with yourself today? When was the last time you made a date with yourself - and kept it?! When you're having a bad day, do you anesthetize yourself with TV, alcohol or ice cream (my favorite), or do you do something truly nurturing and loving for yourself? And, when you stand in front of a mirror do you judge your newly emerging bulges, bad hair, or acne that's blossoming even though you're well past puberty, or do you simply say I love you? See what I mean?

If we're going to have conscious, loving relationships with others, we have to first start by having one with ourselves. And trust me, I'm not immune! It's my walk and my work every single day. But, on those days where I truly have been my own best friend, I can absolutely, positively, 100% say it's worth it.

So, I challenge you to pick at least one way to be your own best friend today - and do it. You deserve it!