Domestic Violence and the Legal Abuse Syndrome

Married women on their way out of an abusive relationship are frequently found navigating the system en route to safety. But is their path safe?nnNot necessarily so. We frequently see women struggling in relation to their legal counsel just as they struggled in their battering relationship. And they feel worn down, confused, taken advantage of... nnWhat often happens is these women engage in their relationship with their legal representation just as they engaged in relation to the “white knight” from whom they are seeking refuge. nnThey look to this person as their savior, leaping in with blind faith. When told exactly what they want to hear, they saddle up and go for the ride. Sadly for some, years go by, and hundreds of thousands of dollars later, they ask, WHY?nnFamily Violence and Legal Domestic AbusennMy sense is the dynamics are exactly the same. Domestic abuse is about control and so is the legal abuse syndrome. And the survivor in both of these situations engages and participates in the same victimized way.nnSome campaign for justice for themselves and their children and then discover, as they approach the finish line, that counsel has nothing to say. Or their trial date is delayed indefinitely. nnIn most of these cases, these women have engaged in exhaustive disclosure, spending more on their production than they actually produce in pay (are awarded as compensation). All awhile, they wonder how and why their partners have managed to go month to month, year to year without providing full, legitimate, or in some cases, any financial production.nnAnd it doesn’t even occur to them that this is merely a strategy that keeps them engaged in the process of their proceedings just as they where engaged with their abusive partner. If you are in a legal proceeding and recognize that your voice is muffled or muted or misrepresented, seek to understand the dynamics of legal domestic abuse.