Don’t Lose Your Face Value…Just Chill

Just like any coin with a face on it, our own faces—indeed, our identities—have what is called a “face value.” When people see us they form opinions, feelings and sometimes even judgments. Most people will not make such a judgment upon first meeting us. However, when there is an altercation between two or more people and an experience is shared, rest assured some judgments are being made. Have you ever reacted in anger or in emotion and ruined a friendship? Has something that you have done ever changed a person’s opinion of you—for better or for worse? So you could reason that we all have face value and it involves our manner of dealing with others. Have you ever heard the expression “saving face?” The actual term “face” is not only a noun, but an idiom that means “dignity and prestige.” It is tied together with a person’s id and ego. We all want to have high face value; we want the respect and admiration of our peers. Whenever we humble ourselves, we somehow “lose” the respect of others, or at least that’s the predominant instinct in man. Because of our foolish pride, we are so reluctant to apologize—to correct ourselves and to acknowledge someone else’s glory. However, it can be advantageous to humble ourselves every so often so as to repair a strained relationship. For example, if you lashed out in anger at someone else, and later found out that the argument hurt the other person, your first instinct might be to just ignore the situation. After all, the other person started the issue, right? You have nothing to apologize for. Apologizing now would compromise “face” or hurt your pride. It is best to be humble in this situation because anger and resentment fester and become much more hardened when we ignore the situation. Years and years of unspoken words can magnify a little issue into a great conflict. You don’t have to apologize for doing something wrong if you don’t feel you have. All you have to do is express regret for what has happened. Chill out…and forget about your great “face.” Friends are more important than personal—momentary—glory.