Low self-esteem is a core issue in life. Depression, fear, anxiety, anger and most other emotions are actually the symptoms of low self-esteem and not the cause, although they can facilitate its deepening.
Low self-esteem begins in childhood. The major contributors to low self-esteem are our ...Low
self-esteem is a core issue in life. Depression, fear, anxiety, anger and most other emotions are actually the symptoms of low
self-esteem and not the cause, although they can facilitate its deepening.
Low
self-esteem begins in childhood. The major contributors to low
self-esteem are our parents, our teachers, child-care workers, our grandparents, siblings, peers, and other relatives and religious and non religious authorities in our lives.
Our parents have the best, and most influential, opportunity to impact and alter the view a child has of themselves and thier
self esteem levels. Parenting style, physical and particularly sexual abuse play a significant role in shaping critical
self-esteem levels and self image perceptions.
The key qualities contributing to positive
self-esteem appear to be approval and acceptance by our parents and closest reference people. Extended family conflicts, divorce and relationship breakdown are also sources of damage to a persons'
self-esteem.
I believe that most parents "try" to be good parents. Unfortunately most parents only have their own childhood experiences, learnings, intuition, and their own sense of what they believe will work, to determine how they treat their children. Many simply repeat the mistakes their own parents made, perpetuating a cycle of ever decreasing self value and low
self esteem.
Low
self-esteem is a belief and thinking disorder, or " thought virus", based on the perceived view (Identity) the person has created of themselves as not good enough, inadequate and useless - forever.
Unless, and until, this skewed filter of perception and self Identity of the not-good-enough Self is changed, a person cannot effectively address the the negative thoughts, perceptions, and resultant feelings and emotions that always seem to controls their reactions.
Once low
self-esteem is formed, the fear and anxiety that accompanies it, affects everything a person does, says, thinks and feels and achieves. We all mask it very well.
Many people chase after a “pseudo sense of
self-esteem” which is created, controlled and destroyed by the external reaction, acceptance, rejection or opinions of others.
Many, who have low
self esteem, avoid seeking new jobs, initiating relationships, or learning new skills for fear of rejection or failure. Many avoid social settings and refrain from sharing their opinions for the same reasons.
Some isolate, become people pleasers, and remain passive. Others get aggressive and cause havoc in their relationships and at work. All people with low selfesteem sabotage their lives, and the lives of others, to some degree.
Some low esteem individuals, behave like underachievers, achieving far less than they are capable of because they feel paralyzed by fear.
Others, on the other hand, are driven to prove to themselves and others, that they are adequate and deserving, and become overachievers, possibly becoming even more successful than they would have, if they didn't have low
self-esteem in the first place.
These overachievers often become workaholics, sometimes to the detriment of work and their families, creating relationship problems, health problems and life-balance challenges.
You can not necessarily tell that a person has low
self-esteem because many who have low
self-esteem have become experts at masking their feelings and maintaining the appearance of control, even though this is not what they feel at their CORE on the inside.
Many successful people in high level careers actually suffer from Low
self esteem, though only those close to them are aware of they have
self esteem issues.
When people with low
self-esteem do something that they perceive as stupid or inappropriate, they unconsciously run an internal mental program, or thought virus, instantly re-creating feelings of humiliation, shame and suffer from "
self-esteem attacks". It's an unconscious process.
Often during these waves of inner personal self-attack, they desperately want to run and hide, though this is often not possible. Some People plummet into self-induced depression and create pictures of personal devastation.
These episodes may last minutes, hours, days, or even weeks. Their
self-esteem issues are almost killing them, from the inside.
Afterwards they feel even more embarrassed to face the people who they think (Project) are aware of their problem and silently criticize or judge them.
self esteem is at the core of our daily energy management. Low
self esteem causes leaks in our energy fields which perpetuates low
self-esteem attitudes, feelings and results.
It is a draining cycle of ever increasing self-criticism and ever decreasing hope.
Some people with relatively low
self-esteem are at risk for suicide, suicide attempts, depression, and self hate and other behaviors that wreck havoc with our lives.
Research reveals that childhood
self-esteem issues in early adulthood are associated with adolescent eating disorders and with economic outcomes - earnings, continuity of employment, and final quality of life.
Research also reveals that biological parents can also exercise a genetic influence in
self esteem Issues.
A part of the difference between the low and high
self-esteem is inherited. This source of biological influence is significant and substantial and seems that it is the single most important source of variations in
self-esteem so far identified.
Close and loving relationships with others does contribute positively to feeling and belies relating to self worth and
self-esteem.
At LifeMasters we have developed a powerful effective process to assist people in removing the effects and impacts of Low
self-esteem, and an ongoing process to rebuild, reprogramme and regain a persons' value, worth and personal power.
self esteem can be rebuilt - call us today to discover more.
Namaste'
Tony Dovale -
www.lifemasters.co.za