Father’s Day without Fathers

IntroductionnnA young child questioned his mother about the character of his father: “Hey Momma! Is it true what they say that Papa never worked a day, in his life? And Momma, some bad talk goin' round town sayin' that Papa had three outside children….” This narrative from “Papa Was A Rolling Stone” was made famous by the Temptations. Eventually, the song would garner the Temptations a number one hit on the Billboard Hot 100 and three Grammy Awards. Unfortunately, the song represented an underpinning theme for millions of children who exist with a dysfunctional father in their lives.nnTherefore, Father’s Day isn’t a pleasant experience for many folks in society. Some individuals are fortunate to have a caring, supportive father. Unfortunately, numerous people live without one. Across the social spectrum, lots of individuals are living with deep wounds left by their fathers. Let me say that in spite of the dysfunctional mentality of some men, fathers are still important to families. Good fathers are more than sperm donors. In fact, a substantial body of research indicates that high levels of involvement by fathers contribute to children’s wellbeing. Yet, some political pundits, educators, and other experts believe that if a child doesn’t have daddy in his or her home, that child cannot be successful. This article explores the realities of a dysfunctional father and how individuals can overcome this situation.nnThe ProblemnnMissing fathers have become a national crisis with unintended consequences. Due to the increase in ‘out-of-wedlock’ births and the high number of divorces, children living away from their biological fathers have become commonplace. Numerous stories paint a terrible picture for these fatherless children. Some facts that bear out this reality: (a) 85% of children with behavioral problems come from fatherless homes, according to the Center for Disease Control, (b) 71% of all high school dropouts come from fatherless homes, (c) 85% of all youth in prison come from fatherless homes, and (d) 75% of all youth in chemical abuse centers come from fatherless homes. nnTherefore, fathers are viewed as an important factor for achievement. With the guidance of their fathers, many children have a solid foundation to be successful. Consequently, some people would proclaim that products of a single parent home without any father presence is destined for failure. In most cases, this assumption causes many folks to write off many children. Nationally syndicated columnist George Curry spoke about the lack of a good father in his home. Curry noted that his father was an alcoholic. He explained, “Sometimes, it is better that daddy isn’t home, especially if he’s an alcoholic or abusive.”nnThe SolutionnnSome people feel handicapped by an insignificant father figure. Yet, other individuals move on to greatness. Therefore, where there is a will, there is a way to success for some people. There are plenty of examples to demonstrate this reality. Noted people, such as former US Secretary of State Alexander Haig, Millionaire Ida B. Wells, actor Tom Cruise, and historian WEB Dubois have all overcame this hurdle in their lives. In fact, US President Barack Obama achieved victory over mental frustration with his own estranged father. In many cases, it is important to build a “Never Quit” mentality. For example, legendary R&B artist Luther Vandross achieved his fame with this mentality. Vandross’ father was an upholsterer and his mother was a nurse. His father died when he was 8 years old. Growing up in the housing projects of New York, Vandross could have blamed many things for his downturn in life. Yet, he did not. Being a self-taught musician, Vandross learned to maximize his talents and seize every opportunity. In spite of many obstacles and hurdles, Vandross went on to become an international sensation as an artist, producer, and arranger. With the right mindset, it is possible to be successful in spite of being without a good father figure.nnConclusionnnWith millions and millions of young people feeling the agony of an imperfect father in their lives, some folks wonder if these people can make it. As it has already been stated, a good father can lay the foundation for his child’s success. However, a fatherless child should not lose hope. Fortunately, society is filled with such a cloud of witnesses that in spite of obstacles and an imperfect father model, it is possible to be successful. Obviously, there are numerous examples of deadbeat dads. Yet, there are many fathers doing the right things. Every citizen should take some ownership in seeing that every child can encounter a positive father figure. Let’s pray that it isn’t too late.