Article

Flirting With Fear?

Topic: Self-Esteem and Self ConfidenceFeaturing Cathy BrennanPublished October 3, 2008

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When I think of fear I think of that feeling in the pit of my stomach, hair prickling on the back of my neck, in response to a threat of some sort.nnFor many of us that fight or flight response is triggered in a low grade way on a daily basis. It becomes a daily companion whispering in our ear….. don’t take the risk, the devil you know is better that the one you don’t, just keep the status quo it will be okay, as it replays all sorts of subconscious beliefs. nnThe true fear based fight or flight instinct is a protective instinct that protects us from imminent danger. The low grade fear or worry that keeps us from moving forward is different, based in subconscious belief patterns that often don’t serve us any longer and keep us from reaching our potential. nnRisk is a necessary part of change, growth, and chartering new territory either physically or emotionally. There are ways to minimize risk but if something isn’t working for you it’s a clear signal to take look at the situation, not to ignore it in hopes that it goes away. The change needed may simply be a perception shift or it could be a move across the country you simply don’t know until you shake off the layer of worry and fear and take a look at it. When you do this you boldly charter into new territory.nnRecently a client was struggling with moving forward after a difficult divorce. She felt obligated to allow her ex husband in her life for the sake of her children, he was inconsistent with his schedule and often became angry if my client made plans for herself. This was a huge negative drain on her, until she finally took a close look at what was going on on her end. Because she felt like a failure for not having the picture perfect family she was fearful that any decision she made would be wrong and went to great lengths to ‘keep the peace’ and ‘make it right’. Once she looked at the situation differently she decided to set some firm boundaries with her ex husband, definitely new territory for her, she felt some fear but realizing what was fueling the fear gave her the courage to move forward. She is now a very happy single mom with a diverse circle of friends.nnIs there an area in your life that low grade fear or worry has taken over? Ask yourself what it is that’s fueling the fear is it real or is it a subconscious pattern from the past?nWhat action large or small can you take to move forward for your highest good?n

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