G Is For Gratitude

As you may have guessed by now, this is not one of those charming little abecedaries to teach children the alphabet. This list of alphabetized words is for adults with serious problems. That's why I've discussed avoidance, becoming, conscious, define, elephants (It'll make more sense if you read that post. I hope.) and fear. Today, I'm going to talk about something that you may not think belongs with the list above. It is, however, something that is very important – perhaps even crucial – for adults with problems. G is for Gratitude. Wait! Don't click that big X in the corner. I know you feel like snarling, “Oh, yeah? What do I have to be grateful for?” On my worse days, I'm the same way. But read me out. There is a popular theory called the Law of Attraction which states that the universe is attuned to our thought patterns and will deliver to us whatever it is that our thoughts dwell on. Now, whether you believe in LOA or not, I think that if you are honest with yourself you will admit that negative thoughts are a downward spiral. You've seen it happen in your own life, in your own mind, haven't you? You wake up in the morning determined that today is going to be a good day. Then the earpiece on your glasses falls off (to use a very recent and real-life example). While you are trying to replace the earpiece, the kitten jumps up on your computer, scatters the tiny little screws to hell and gone, and types mmmm,,,,,,,,,,,??//////. How are you going to react? You CAN go with the nuclear explosion in your brain, mangle the glasses, strangle the kitten, and throw the computer out the window. But is that really going to make you feel any better in the long run? Or is it going to cost you a new pair of glasses, make you feel like a murderer, and make you replace both your computer and the window? An alte ative approach to the situation would be to be grateful that you have a son available who can actually see to recover the tiny screws and put them in the earpiece. You can be grateful that you have a cute kitten who, while he is a trial, also makes you laugh and lightens the atmosphere of gloom around you. You can be grateful that you have a computer and know how to use it (you even know how to backspace and get rid of mmmm,,,,,,,,,,,??//////). Remember, in this “hypothetical” situation, you started out determined that it was going to be a good day. Which of the above approaches do you think is more apt to make that a reality? When you are depressed and down in the dumps or when your life seems to be going down the tubes (Notice the "down" word? That's what I mean by a downward spiral), it is hard to look up and see the sky but it is also absolutely crucial. You don't have to be a Pollyanna. You just have to look for a few things you can be truly grateful for. It could be as simple as being grateful that you did wake up this morning. It could mean acknowledging that there are people who care about you and are willing to help you. It could mean allowing yourself to feel (and be grateful for) a glimmer of hope in a dark and dismal landscape. The reasons for gratitude are myriad and varied. The few examples I've given above may not resonate with you. Find your own. Make a point of looking for them. When you find one, make note of it. Actually write it down: I am grateful for_____________. You might even want to carry a small notebook or a notecard with you expressly for that purpose. At the end of the day, read over your list of things that you have found to be grateful for today. If you have fewer than five, think a little harder. Find at least five. Write them down. Read them. Read them aloud. Ponder them. And when you feel a smile on your face, turn off the light and go to bed with your mind fixed on your gratitude. Chances are you'll sleep better and when you awaken in the morning, you may find it easier to convince yourself that today is going to be a good day. You know what? It will be – or at least it will be better than the day before – and you'll have another opportunity (that's something in itself to be grateful for) to look for things to be grateful for. Try to think of different ones than yesterday's list. Find at least five new reasons to be grateful. Write them down. Read them. Think about them as you drift off to sleep. One further suggestion. If the reason for gratitude that you've written down involves a person, don't keep it to yourself. Tell that person that you are grateful and tell them why. I can't promise you that the bluebird of happiness will come and nest in your hair, but you may find that your outlook is a little brighter, the gloom a little lighter and your relationships a little smoother. The more you practice this simple technique, the easier it will be to find things to be grateful for. The Zen symbol of the yin/yang has an important lesson to teach us. Light and dark are intermingled. When we're down, it is only too easy to see the dark. Expressing gratitude is a way of seeing the light, too, and acknowledging the wholeness of life. G is for Gratitude.