Gender And Culture

Contents: 1. The high cost to both women and organizations, when women do not ask for what they want. (Even young, highly educated and assertive women do this.) 2. Building trust and understanding between people from individualist cultures (USA, Canada, Western European cultures) nand collectivist cultures (Latino, Asian, African cultures).nnRetain valuable “women who don’t ask”: Research proves that women, in general, do not ask for what they want as clearly, quickly or as often as men do. This applies to educated, assertive and young women as well as to Boomers and Traditionals. Women also tend to think that what is offered (“what is on the table”) is all that is available. Men draw on their socialization (which includes things like being taught how to slip the Maitre d’ a few bucks for a better table) and assume that their wants and needs might be met if they speak up, irrespective of what seems to be on offer. Organizations suffer. Their valuable women work and wait for rewards or options, then one day, *poof*! They’re working for your competitor or running their own small business, and you’re saying “why didn’t she TELL me she wanted that position, the same salary as John, that title, a new computer screen, a more flexible schedule, a space heater? It would have cost so little … a tiny fraction of what this is costing us now!” Linda Babcock, Co-author of “Women Don’t Ask”, admits that those who ask, often get. She describes how she, herself, gave more resources and opportunities to men in her department, while she was researching the way women are socialized to wait for rewards, and why women don’t imagine possibilities outside The System. She did this because men asked.n nGreat read: “Women Don’t Ask” (by Linda Babcock and Sara Laschever) has some great strategies for managing men and women who are valuable assets to your organization, but do not ask clearly for what they want. It’s also a must-read for working women or parents of daughters.n nnUnderstanding American and immigrant-culture differences (Individualist and Collectivist cultures)n Everyone has an "I" consciousness and a "we" consciousness. The “I” focuses on self achievement, self responsibility and autonomy. The “we” identity focuses on connection to our reference groups, and our relatedness. This emphasis varies from person to person, and from culture to culture. n I grew up in Africa, where many people have a mainly collectivist approach to life. In business, one usually asked African clients about their families, because it is impolite and cold to do otherwise, yet one discussed impersonal subjects like the weather and a little politics or economics with Caucasian clients. (In some cultures, like the UK, it is normal to discuss politics. Right after the weather, which always comes first!) When working with learning groups from both Collectivist and Individualistic backgrounds (think of Puerto Rico and the US for example) I would often ask about how some of these differences might affect group dynamics, for instance: Innovative out-of-the-box thinking (I) vs. loyalty to group interests and approval (C) Individual achievement (I) vs. group affiliation as a basis of group standing (C) The right to have unpopular opinions (I) vs. the importance of group harmony (C) Personal initiative (I) vs. consensus-based group action (C) n This concept can be used for team-building and inclusivity work, because people love to teach others about their worlds. People also love understanding what makes them tick - e.g. in Africa, Individualism is stronger in people who are more urbanized and whose tribal identity and affiliation are of lower importance. (I included this factor in the design of my first graduate degree thesis). Create space for concrete and personal narratives, and jumpstart these by sharing a story of your own - e.g. I have an Anglo-Indian father, and Welsh, Irish, French, Dutch, African and Malay blood, and can trace threads of both traditions through my family and friends. It gets people thinking and talking. A critically important issue in culture is a cheerful awareness that differences exist, that we’re learning to understand them, learning about each other, and that different is not wrong, it is merely different.n nHeavy read: For another angle on this subject, try “The Geography of Thought : How Asians and Westerners Think Differently...and Why” by Richard Nisbett. It explains how people from Eastern and Western cognitive traditions often process information differently. Nisbett gives details of how a mix of thought patterns may offer a competitive edge, and lead to innovative breakthroughs in many industries.n nHilarious read: Watching the English: The Hidden Rules of English Behaviour by Social Anthropologist Kate Fox. Not related to Individualism/Collectivism, but an essential for any bewildered American who has to deal with the British, and a great gift for anyone who grew up in English culture, so that we can laugh at ourselves.