Go Ahead, Be Assertive!

I have a friend who is a Life Coach by profession and he found out that many people are willing and ready to accept the cost of their being unhappy and dissatisfied rather than to stand up and speak for themselves. One way of saying this is, “I know I am not happy with something and I know I’ve been wronged, but I would rather live with that than to voice out and express and explain how I feel exactly to that person responsible.” Being assertive is the balance between being passive and aggressive. You have all the rights to be human, to be able to change your mind, to have your needs met and of course, to make inevitable mistakes. nnYou can make your own decisions and to live your own way of living as you see fit just as long as it does not hurt others or abuse other people’s rights. And you also have the right to have feelings and explore these feelings and emotions in ways that could violate the rights of other individuals. Most persons are not firm enough because they worry that other people may not like them or are simply afraid of displeasing others. Yes, you might avoid some uneasy confrontations and unpleasantness by choosing not to be assertive at all. However, in the long run if you are unable to assert yourself, you can also risk sustaining healthy relationships. nnTherefore, this could lead to lack of confidence and low self esteem and could become a typical way of life for some individuals. Assertiveness could help improve your entire self image, strengthen and maintain relationships, lessen stress and make you more successful. On the whole, successful individuals are generally assertive. Being assertive goes hand in hand with a person’s overall effectiveness and confidence. In order to be successful as well as meeting the needs of other people you are going to have your own needs met. But if you cannot assert yourself in this manner it would make life far more difficult, and in the process, success will be much more difficult to attain. nnIn effect, you become powerless to meet your needs and to get what you want. But you also have to remember though that some people too, have the right to respond or react to your assertiveness or even be equally assertive themselves. An encounter with a person who’s also assertive should involve negotiating a peaceful and agreeable compromise, hopefully with a win-win results or outcome where both parties are satisfied. Always bear in mind that you have the right to be truly assertive, but try not to be too rude or highly offensive. Your being assertive should not be at the cost of another person’s rights or personal feelings. nnAt the end of the day, if you are assertive and aware of the basic human rights of other people and your own basic human rights as well, you would really get far more out of your life not just for yourself but also for the people around you.