How to Help Kids Get Rid of Their “I Can’t Do It” Attitude?

I can't do it; I can never do it," once your kids throw their hands up saying something like this, it seems like there is no going back. As a parent, you want your child to be a go-getter and have a relentless attitude towards moving past the obstacles. But, your child has suddenly entered into almost a negative phase, where they are quick to give up in the face of the slightest challenges.

As educators with years of experience in working for and with children, we, at DPS Kota, a renowned CBSE affiliated school in Kota, can assure you that you aren't the only parent in this predicament. And, the good news is that there are quite a few effective ways to develop a more optimistic attitude in kids. So, without further ado, let's discuss some of those ways in which you can help your kids get rid of their "I can't do it" attitude.

Stop coming to their rescue when they give up

We understand how hard it is for parents to stand back and watch the kids struggling. However, coming to their rescue every time they say, "I can't do it" will only end up exacerbating the negative attitude. A more effective approach would be to teach children the steps to take for completing a given task. Give them enough time to master every step before moving on to the next one, and gradually, such an experiential practice will help build their self-confidence.

Help them but let them do the final task

Of course, there will be times when your kids simply cannot do all of the task on their own. In such cases, help them only so much that the final task is left for them. For instance, if they are struggling with a particular piece of homework, you can assist them by reading out the questions or assignment out loud and asking them whether they understood the question. Let them come to the solution for the problem slowly but steadily.

Aid them in internalizing their accomplishments

After the kids have successfully done an activity or task, try to reframe their negative ideas with a positive affirmation. Tell them how they started off by saying they can never do it, but with a bit of effort and perseverance, they were successful. Praise the fact that they did not give up as this will help them in internalizing their success, which will slowly remove those traces of negativity from their minds.

Highlight their expertise to develop their self-confidence

Empowering the kids through small gestures also helps in building their self-confidence, and this thereby caters to instilling in them the motivation to overcome challenges. So, let the kid turn into the family expert for a while and let the younger siblings ask for help. Even you can do the same from time to time. For example, tell your younger child, "ask your brother to help you out because he is so good at organizing everything." Or, maybe give them that price list you made and tell them to help you add it up because they do it so fast. Developing a positive self-image in this way will also keep the "I can't do it" attitude away.

Be present and give them that extra attention

No matter what age they are, your kids always need a bit of extra attention from you, and that may be in the form of oodles of encouragement, hugs, and praises. The moral support that they get by simply your presence and involvement in the moment will motivate them to try harder. Let them know that not even participating in the match is a lot worse than winning or losing it at the end of the day.