Introverts: Answer 8 Questions to Break Free from Perfectionism and Get it Done

I have a not-so-surprising confession to make: I’m a perfectionist. If my correspondence is any indication, many introverts share this trait (and I suspect many extroverts as well).

Perfectionism serves us in many ways: it motivates us to make our best effort; it results in high-quality, accurate work; it fuels our self-esteem (who wants to think of herself as mediocre?). However, there are also many ways in which perfectionism does not serve us: it prevents us from completing (or sometimes starting) a project; it sets us up for failure (because the “perfect” result is never attained) – which then damages our self-esteem. So there you have it: perfectionism can be a double-edged sword that simultaneously helps and hurts our self-esteem. This is one reason we find it so hard to “let go” of our perfectionist tendencies – we may be aware of the downside, but we don’t want to lose the upside.

So what’s a conflicted introvert to do? My recommendations (I have used these for myself with moderate success):

* Recognize that perfection is an ideal, not necessarily an attainable goal.

* Keep the desire for the ideal, but drop the insistence on it (i.e. make it a want, not a need).

* Stop beating yourself up for being a perfectionist – it probably helped you get where you are today.

* At the same time, stop using perfectionism as an excuse to not start or complete something (yeah it feels uncomfortable, but it gets easier with practice).

* Distinguish between doing your best (which is within your control) and doing a perfect job (which may not be within your control).

OK, so you want to stop using perfectionism as an excuse, but you still can’t seem to get things done. I did not really address the “how” of changing what is probably a well-established habit for you. Here is where your introvert processing comes in handy: try reasoning your way to a new behavior. The next time you are faced with a project you can’t begin, or can’t complete because you want it to be “perfect,” set aside some thinking time and ask yourself the following questions:

1. How will I know this is perfect? (What objective measure can I use?)

2. Can I make it perfect in the time allotted to this task/project?

3. What’s the worst that could happen if I release my imperfect product/creative effort/report?

4. Is this the best I can do right now?

5. What can I improve upon next time?

6. What can I learn from exposing my imperfect effort to others?

7. What benefit will others get from my imperfect effort?

8. What am I avoiding by withholding until everything is perfect?

Answering these questions will help you clarify your own boundaries for how much/how long you are willing to work on something before you declare it finished. Having identified a specific stopping point gets you out of the stuck-zone of endless “perfecting” cycles. At the very least, you will gain some insight into what’s really holding you back. Chances are it’s not perfectionism per se, but whatever your perfectionism is protecting you from.

(c) 2009 Joanne Julius Hunold