Is Being Selfish the Key to Sucess??

We often look at the work “Selfish” as a bad thing, but as we become older we realize that being selfish is one of the keys to being successful. Let me explain….when I say selfish, not in the traditional sense of you putting yourself first, but in the sense of you putting your goals first. Often the very people that love us are those who will try their best to stop us from accomplishing our dreams. “Crabs in a Barrel”. To overcome this crab in a barrel effect, one has to become somewhat selfish. When I was a new graduate out of college, the first thing I did was move to California from New Jersey. This was my first of many selfish acts. My mom wanted me nearby, but the opportunity of a lifetime only existed in California. I had the chance to work for a premier design studio as a new college grad. This is something that only happens to 1 in 10,000 applicants, but yet my mom insisted that she wanted me living close to home. I was so focused and driven, that I did not even consider what my mom wanted and moved. It wasn’t soon after that I performed my next selfish act; not coming home for the holidays. I was a new employee in a fast paced environment. I saw the Christmas holidays as a period where I could catch up and surpass my peers, not to mention that I would have to put a $500 plane ticket, pay for airport parking and other related travel expenses all on my credit card. This is a trip that I would be paying for in many ways over the next year. I broke my mom’s heart and decided not to come home. People could not understand my way of thinking and still don’t, and I grew to realize that those people who didn’t understand, also didn’t have the drive, ambition and desire that I had to reach my goals. It wasn’t that I enjoyed disappointing others, but they were asking me to do things that would have taken me off course. What I knew that they didn’t know, was that I would be making millions one day and soon enough the cost of a trip to NJ would be like bus fair. This wasn’t just a dream, this was a tangible goal that I was going to make happen and I was ready to do everything I needed to do, one day at a time. I wasn’t about to let the wants of other people guilt me into not hitting my intermediate milestones. We have all been there. How about Christmas shopping, taking money we don’t have and buying Christmas presents on credit cards, just so you are not disappointing family and friends. How about the time you try and go on a diet, but your friends invite you over for dinner. You don’t want to disappoint them and not eat what has been prepared or really disappoint them by just declining the invite all together. It’s time for you to be selfish. If they are your true friends they will understand, better yet, they might even try and help you. How about them coming to visit you? How about cooking a healthy meal that is a part of your diet? How about calling you up ahead of time and asking, what’s a part of your new meal plan, or schedule a walk after a healthy dinner? A true friend will be considerate and believe in you and want to be a part of making you successful. This kind of selfishness is hard. It’s counter intuitive to most of us, but after you do it once or twice, and your goals become evidently achievable to everyone, it becomes easier. Soon you are making decisions based on goal oriented tasks instead of emotion. When you do decide to do things, it fits into the scope of your plans. As you become more and more successful, that scope begins to broaden. Your resources broaden and you will soon be able to do more and be more to your friends and family then ever before. You are sacrificing small times now for big pay offs for everyone in the future. So in the end, is it really being selfish?