Is the Clock Running Out to Help Save Your Marriage? The 5 Steps You Need to Take to Turn Back Time

Tick, tock, tick, tock, tick tock.rnDo you feel as if time is running out on your marriage? Do you know how to stop the clock and help save your marriage? Do you think that your spouse is going to ask for a divorce or has already done so? Believe it or not, there are five things you can do to help save your marriage before time runs out.rn1. Talk to your spouse rnExpress your concerns that you're afraid that your marriage is in trouble. Ask them what they think the state of your marriage is. If they have already asked for a divorce, ask them to be honest with you about how why they think your marriage has come to this. Encourage them to speak openly about their dissatisfaction.rn2. Acknowledge the problem and ask for their help rnOnce you have carefully listened to their complaints, acknowledge their discontent but say that you want your marriage to work and that you're genuinely interested in turning the clock back to a happier time. Ask for their help in saving your marriage. It will be much more difficult for them to say "no" to you and summarily end your marriage without even trying to save it. Their thinking likely will be, "Well, if it doesn't work out, at least he/she can't say I didn't try."rn3. Respond Logically, Not Emotionally rnCommunication is essential if you are to move forward. When you first hear their list of complaints, you undoubtedly will feel defensive, hurt, and/or angry. But you can't react on a strictly emotional basis. If you do so and heatedly respond to their allegations, chances are the conversation is going to escalate and turn into an argument or worse - cause your spouse to immediately leave. That will make any attempts to save your marriage more difficult.rn4. Accept Your Part in Your Difficulties rnNo, you shouldn't take the blame for everything that's wrong in your marriage. However, a marriage, good or bad, takes two people to make it or break it. Own up to any part you may have played in your current dilemma. rnOf course, it would be helpful if your spouse acknowledged their part in your marital problems as well. If they don't think that they have done anything wrong and you have specific instances of their less-than-loving behavior that may have caused marital problems and can give concrete examples of where it may have affected you, then relay that information.rnHowever, don't say things like, "You never help with the kids," or "You always try to make me look foolish in front of our friends," or "You constantly criticize the way that I do the household chores."rnAvoid words like "always," "constantly" and "never." It's undoubtedly inaccurate and they're often inflammatory. rnInstead, you might say something like, "I wish you were more involved with disciplining the children," or "When we were out to dinner the other night with Tom and Beth, I was embarrassed when you said I couldn't balance the check book." These are specific examples that they can recognize without getting defensive.rn5. Make a Plan and Stick to It rnIt's important that together you literally make a plan of how you're going to help save your marriage. Write it out. Be sure that there are tasks for each of you to accomplish and possibly a timeline. If your lists of dissatisfactions are large, tackle the top one or two at first. Then you can work on those before moving to the next set of complaints. This will give you a way to quickly see at least minor changes for the better. rnIf you act quickly and rationally, you can stop the clock on a potential divorce, save your marriage and look forward to a lifetime of happiness.