It doesn't really matter

These past few weeks I’ve spent some time in ‘observation’ mode. Watching my thoughts, my actions and the results from my thoughts, my feelings about my thoughts and actions. I’m a funny person. I notice that even though I have a thought- ‘don’t do that’ I still do it. I watch how sometimes I ‘obsess’ about something, meaning I think about the same thing over and over. The human mind is so interesting. Imagine if we didn’t let it control us? One of the things that I am so thankful for when I do my gratitude list is my perspective of life in general. rnFor instance, when I find that I am ‘obsessing’ I remind myself that ‘I’ am not the mind. It is something for me to use as a tool. I can turn it off whenever I want to. Another ‘truth’ that gives me relief is that I am not this body, and none of this really matters. I don’t have to take everything so seriously, as a matter of fact I don’t have to take anything seriously. Imagine not taking anything seriously; imagine thinking that everything I do, think and say is okay because it doesn’t matter. What a relief! After a couple of hours of complaining or obsessing about something, I remember this and I get such a sense of relief! I think to myself…”right, it doesn’t matter, I can do whatever I want, whenever I want and it’s all go(o)d. “ That ‘relief’ feeling sets a whole new tone, that relief from all the heaviness I was feeling prior to that thought is gone and I can feel good again, I can breathe again. I can enjoy life in this moment again. I suppose there needs to be a fundamental truth in place to get to the place of ; it doesn’t matter, for instance, life is absolutely perfect as it is. Life is intelligent, when I remember, that my body is functioning no matter what I think or do. The earth is spinning on it’s axis, no matter what I think and do. The sun sets and rises, no matter what I think and do. It’s going on no matter what I think and do, it doesn’t matter. Life is life, I’m not here to control things or changes things, I’m here because I’m here. Man that is a tough one for the brain to assimilate! I’m here because I’m here. That’s it, no great meaning, no destiny, and no path. The simplicity of life is so mind boggling…of course the mind/ego is boggled, because, it wants to control, it wants some complicated explanation of everything little thing, so it can be busy, because it feels that if it isn’t it doesn’t exist. Everything in life wants to exist, we want to live, we want to be appreciated and loved; including our mind/ego. When I remember all of this then I remember my only reason for living , (if I have to find a reason) is love. rnThat’s it – LOVE. Wow, I had to go through all this thought to get back to the simplicity of life. So perhaps, instead of going through all that, I just remember I am love, and love who I am where I am and the rest will take care of its self. Phew….what a relief.