Leaving an Abusive Relationship - How to Insure a Safe Departure from an Abusive Relationship

If you’ve read my writing you know I’m a proponent of leaving an abusive relationship quickly and quietly, when you decide to do so.nnNow that doesn’t mean you jump in the car and go “out of the blue.” No not at all. Because if you do, chances are you’ll be back home before you know it.nnInstead, what I actually mean is your final exit is quickly and quietly, but the planning of your departure is well-thought out and completely planned to the tee. ALL of your ducks are in a row!nnPlanning to Leave an Abusive RelationshipnnYou have all of your important documents in order, all of the personal necessities organized and ready to go, your household belongs should you decide to take them are planned for accordingly. nnYou know where you will be staying in the short run and in the phase immediately following that. You may even know how and where you will transition into a more long- standing living situation.nnYour finances are in order sufficient to carry you through your plan. The people you have selected to support your exit are on board and you have the ability to engage their assistance as needed in the moment you need it.nnSo in many respects you see, there is much pre-planning that precedes this quick and quiet final exit. nnMistake of Announcing Your Leaving an Abusive RelationshipnnA mistake many women make is they do not take the time for “real” planning prior to their effort to leave an abusive relationship. Rather there is a decision on the fly to go, along with a compelling desire to “tell their partner” why they are leaving. nnThey want to “let him/her know why” they can no longer live under the conditions that they are seeking departure from. On some level, I think what they really hope to accomplish by this ”sharing“ is that the partner will ”see the light“ and stop this ”bad“ behavior AND all will be well.nnNow I wouldn’t want to suggest that this doesn’t happen or can’t happen, as it can. But what usually happens is this so-called sharing inflames matters. nnIt could set the stage for another altercation on the spot, another episode while you are leaving, or even another dance through the cycle wherein the next blowout magnifies relative to the prior. nnThis so-called “sharing” must be out of you system and out of your plan, when you are serious about getting away from an abusive relationship. And you must have all your ducks in a row so when you dive into leaving an abusive relationship, you do so planned for your success.