Life After Death?

I’ve been volunteering in Palliative Care for almost two years. The idea came as a fascination on death, as up till then I hadn’t personally had a lot of encounters with death. I wanted to be closer to death as I understood it is part of human life, as common and intimate as birth, even though people do not seem to want to acknowledge it.

Rewarding as the experience has been, I have recently decided to resign from the volunteering.

The decision has something to do with a personal transformational experience and insight into the depth of my own being.

It was also during the two years, not only watching people dying in hospital, but I have encountered death many many times another way – Witnessing death experience in Past Life Regression hypnosis sessions.

Is there a death after life? Or is there a life after death? Many of my clients, some believe they are reincarnated, some believe in their religions which contradict the idea of reincarnation, some believe in “science” which says nothing that you can’t measure exists – regardless what the believe, they had read some bestsellers such as the books by Brian Weiss, had wanted to experience a past life remembering themselves – experienced profound joy and peace after the physical death experience. “Relief” is the most commonly used word in such a hypnotic session. And when I take them beyond death, what comes to their awareness is unspeakably beautiful and utterly transformational. That’s where we term as “Life Between Lives” (LBL), in which we review the current life planning stage.

One client came in telling me how allienated she felt with her parents. After seeing herself as a Scottish soldier who died in Dieppe, France during the second world war, she went to life planning stage for this life as LBL spirit. And she told me how eager she wanted to come to experience this life, and had to plan carefully for the pregnancy for her young mother. “It’s challenge to plan for that but I made it.”

I started to feel sorry for her parents now, whilst earlier I felt sorry for her being an “unwanted” baby. Asked further, she said, “Of course there is an agreement, as it always is.” At least, through this revelation, she now doesn’t have to feel how not cared for by her parents, because she chose them as her parents, on a much deeper level, purposefully not to have much connection so she could be independant at an early age, and then start to write her books. There was a book in that Scottish soldier as well but it never had a chance to be written.

Now back to my own experience. Recently I went to New York, first time in my life, I mean, this life, and found out that I lived there in the early 20’s century, as Rick, a stock broker. Rick hung himself in 1933 after everything was wiped out during the devastating crash. Walking down the streets in Manhattan, I could easily and deeply feel Rick’s despair. What was so hard for him was the loss of pride when the money was gone. He didn’t do it in New York, but went all the way to California to hang himself – That explains a lot of breathing problems and neck sore in this life.

I don’t know how many other lives in which I have killed myself. As a child, I was talking with some friends on how we would die, and my answer came very naturally, “Probably I’ll just kill myself.” When I said that, I sounded and felt very neutral. And at 13, I did ponder on methods of how to kill myself quite a lot. It always seemed a good exit out of this heaviness of physical existance for me. With this memory suddenly came a realization, “Everyone is afraid of death, and I never am, because it is very easy for me.”

Instead, to live is hard for me. I never have fear on death, but I fear living.

So I decide it’s time to face my fear. Instead of being with death and dying two hours a week, I’m going to use these two hours walking in nature, experiencing being fully alive and appreciating aliveness, while still alive.