Living In The Moment vs. The Beta-Male Imagination

The ability to think on one's feet is the most prized attribute in the American consciousness. Its mastery is a prerequisite to elected office. Its proficiency is the simplest path to wealth. People land promotions when they inspire confidence, they get women when they're charming. It's the measuring stick for salesmanship, for affability, even for self-worth.

But not everyone is so lucky. Unfortunately, most people who have it think they developed it on their own. Worse, people who don't think there's something wrong with them. This is the prevailing social schema, but it doesn't have to be that way.

For the rhetorically disadvantaged, myself included, there are several options to avoid the demoralization of our shortcomings. The first is to be persistently optimistic. This is best suited for the shortsighted, for those who are neither quick nor deep thinkers, as a broader understanding of existence accompanies a more discouraging perspective. Realism and cynicism, for all intellectual intents and purposes, are synonymous.

The highly-gifted dimwit is also excluded from this quandary. For those able to think clearly and deeply, self-worth is easily derived from their ability to do so. These people often able to find the traditional version of American success using their intellect, whether it's creativity, intuition or academic rigor that propels them. These people will never be President, but they will be envied, and they will be satisfied.

So where does that leave the rest of us – the segment of the population that isn't verbally adroit, naïve, nor brilliant? We sort of have to fend for ourselves.

No two people are exactly the same when it comes to how they approach happiness. Some people take solace from the little things in life, some from the karmic therapy of devotion to a cause. Some people use drugs, some adopt encompassing hobbies, some do both. But for others, like me, these pathways to happiness are valuable but ultimately incomplete. People in this position have only two options: to slog through life depressed or to develop an overarching framework – a personal code – on how to live from which to extract self-worth.

The primary ingredient for a personal code to be successful in allowing its subject to achieve long-term happiness is what Buddhists call right mindfulness. It can best be described as the detachment from greed and distress with reference to the world. To remain focused on the mind, body and the universe, all as one indivisible entity in and of itself. All things are all things, no more, no less. This concept may be murky and foreign to some, but it's worthwhile. Happiness without this supposition is sporadic and fleeting. This is living in the moment, not dwelling on the past or being fearful of the future. The problem is it makes for an incredibly boring personality.

Being perceived as interesting comes naturally to those who are good at speaking. Since they're constantly and effortlessly expressing their thoughts, they're commonly perceived as dynamic individuals. Although this is rarely the case for extroverts, they receive credit for it without much difficulty. Someone could be a thinker on the level of Kant or Chomsky, but if they can't express themselves in real time they're alleged to be boring, anti-social, misanthropic.

Luckily for introverts (men, at least, but I imagine it's similar for women), there is the Beta-Male imagination. In the modern world, this is arguably the only advantage we have over extroverts. Author Christopher Moore describes it best on his website:

"While Alpha males are often gifted with superior physical attributes -- size, strength, speed, and good looks -- selected over the eons by the strongest surviving and, essentially, getting all the girls, the Beta Male gene has survived not by meeting and overcoming adversity, but by anticipating and avoiding it. That is, when the alpha males were out charging after mastodons, the beta males could imagine in advance that attacking what was essentially an angry, wooly bulldozer with a pointy stick, might be a losing proposition, so he hung back at camp to console the grieving widows whose Alpha-male mates had been stomped into mastodon moss..."

The modern manifestation of the Beta-Male imagination presents itself in the speaking habits of most introverts. In order to make it seem like we are good conversationalists, we often imagine predictable social and professional scenarios to come, and mentally stockpile lines, jokes and segues that would play well. In many cases, our relative success depends on it.

For example, whenever I'm in a situation where I'm forced to justify my penchant for cartoons, cookies, chicken fingers, etc., I always say: "I'm like a 5-year-old," with the same specific timing and inflection. It's at least disarming, if not endearing, but it's artificial. It was pre-cooked years ago and regurgitated countless times since with the same favorable result. Many people are so committed to this approach to socializing that they actually have multiple responses saved up for every situation imaginable; these people are actually able to simulate the natural leadership skills and charm of the Alpha-Male.

But are they happy? Probably not.

At least not all the time. Granted, it's likely that these people will find gratification in their successes, but they spend so much time and energy analyzing their past endeavors for future value that they're never in the moment. Their primary conce
is fabricating the appearance of a dynamic personality, instead of having a dynamic personality.

This is the great dichotomy that haunts countless thousands of imaginative, happiness-seeking Beta-Males. To construct the appearance of an Alpha-Male, to be generally viewed in favorable terms by society, bosses and women in particular – but to only achieve a shallow level of fulfillment – or to live in the moment, drawing legitimate happiness from knowing that everything is as it is, but to risk being perceived as timid and uninteresting? Reconciliation between these exclusive concepts seems impossible.

To our advantage, we live in the world and not in an idea. Accordingly, we're able to weave a balance between virtually any exclusive ideals, even if it's simply a matter of dividing our time. Sunday through Thursday can be spent in the moment just as easily as Friday and Saturday can be spent thinking about their respective evenings ahead, there's no law against it.

Nor is there any reason why we, as the less-than-brilliant intelligent introverts of the world, should have to base our self-worth on the standards of the rank-and-file Alpha-male. We will always understand them, their worldview, their psychology, their existence, and they will never understand us. But that's ok, they don't need to. It wont do them any good as mastodon moss anyway.