WHAT TO DO WITH A CASE OF "SNEAK-UP LOVE"

Hey Doc,

I've been a friend of a girl for about two years now. I never felt any attraction to her until this past summer. We started spending a lot of time together, going out and having fun. Now she's at college, living in a dorm, and I never get to see her anymore.

She doesn't know how I feel about her. I want to tell her, but I don't want to lose the friendship we have. Wouldn't she think it was strange for me to suddenly come out and confess how much I like her after being friends for so long? What do you think? Should I go for it?

Bart

Hi Bart,

So, love snuck up behind you and bit you on the fanny, huh? The bad news - as I have mentioned in other articles - is that most women don't allow you to switch tracks from friendship to boyfriend. The good news is: if by some long shot, your sweetheart is the exception to the rule, I can arm you with the one thing that would make a romance happen: Challenge - also known as Superwoman's Kryptonite.

Judging by the lack of Buying Signals (flirting) mentioned in your letter, I would assume that the object of your affection is comfortable with the relationship as it is and doesn't think of you as anything more than a friend - the most dreaded word a man can hear from a woman. But in the small chance that she harbors some romantic feelings for you and is playing it cool, Challenge will turn up the heat and make her Interest Level climb through the roof!

Challenge can even help you out when your female friend has only 49% Interest Level in you. How? It forces you to keep your trap shut around her and thus preserves your friendship. Blabbing your amorous feelings to a girl who doesn't feel the same way about you can make her feel uncomfortable - which can cause a friendship to die a slow death.

Here's our game plan, Bart. First: withdraw slowly from your friend and become less available to her. Don't call her at school; let her call you and wait a day to call her back if she leaves a message. Don't initiate any e-mails; instead give her only brief answers to her e-mails.

Once she returns from school and starts asking you out for the usual social events, only attend the outings where other single women will be present. Why? Because you will talk with these ladies and get their home phone numbers.

Now, you may be asking me: wouldn't I be disrespectful if I did this? My answer: Certainly not. It shouldn't bother her if you two are at a club and you step away from her side once every hour for only five minutes. Besides - you two are just friends, right? The great thing is if your conversations with other women do bother your friend, then it means that her Interest Level in you is over 50% - which means you have a chance with her.

By using this simple act of Challenge, you rub any hidde
Interest Level she has for you in her face. After about a month of this, a look of frustration should eventually come over her and she will say "I'm tired of you chasing other women in front of me!" To which, you will reply, "Are you suggesting that we take the chance of ruining a beautiful friendship by you asking me out on a date?" She will then answer sheepishly, "Well, sort of." This is when you know she's seeing you in a whole new light - and that it's now time to go out on your first date! Isn't Challenge great?

Remember guys, if you want to turn Miss Friend into Miss Right, you have to let her think it's her idea; you must let her think she's in control (Only you and I know better!). Be a Challenge around her and she will feel inspired to make positive changes to your relationship. But if she decides to keep the friendship, then get mileage out of the arrangement - go to clubs with her and show her off to other women. As my cousi
Sal "The Fish" Love would say: "Whatever it takes!"

To send me your love questions or to find out more about The "System," visit me at http://www.doclove.com or call (800) 404-2644. nn?Copyright DocLove DotCom nnnn