You Lost Your Job Is Not The Worst That Happened!

You lost your job! But don’t look now, because what’s coming down the track is even worse! Let me spell it out for you. Not only You-lost-your-job, but more important…YOU HAVE LOST YOUR SELF-CONFIDENCE. The real sad thing about this is..YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW IT! nnIf you are like most people you will stay in a state of denial for a long time. Why? Because you lost your job. I am talking about the “little me” syndrome. “I’ll take any job I can get. I owe it to my family to get money coming in. Why hold out for a real good job? I’ll just go through all of our savings.” nnSound familiar? You bet it does. I know, because I’ve gone through the entire cycle of loosing jobs and most important, loosing my self-confidence. Don’t misunderstand me, it’s important to keep money coming in. Right on, you don’t want to go through your savings. It’s very easy to spend, but awful hard to save. nnI am talking about avoiding an insidious mind-set that can knock you out for a lifetime, if you are not careful. It has nothing to do with being weak or strong. In fact, people that have had strong accomplished careers are easy prey for this loosing self-confidence and self-belief. nnYou can see it all over the place. Men and women in their mid-career development. And Bang, You-lost-your-job, and the next thing you know they are doing some menial work, “just to keep some income coming”. nnThat’s all well and good, but if five years latter, this displaced job worker is still doing his little nothing job..it’s like “help” time. I have seen very competent men and women who have never worked again. They stayed home and let their supporting spouses “bring home the bacon”. Goodness knows the number of families that have broken up because of job loss. nnWhat is so destructive about job loss? Very good, competent, and strong people get knocked for a loop and often go down for the “ten” count. Why? Because strong people with good careers IDENTIFY with their work. Their ego and self-esteem get tied up and interwoven with their job/career performance. When the career falls apart, slowly but surely the person looses his or her grip. nnSo what can you do about this? How can you avoid this career killing trap?nnFirst, it helps to know what you want. Then, you have to FOCUS. Before you can focus with strength, you need to get rid of some FEAR. nnThis means Winning With Fear. You win with fear by facing scary or intimidating situations head-on. nYour growth and accomplishment muscles get bigger everytime you win with fear. It works like this..new, different, and challenging situations have a tendency to make us want to pause or stop and think about the situation. nnIf it is really scary we will delay or walk away from the perceived danger. If you are working toward goals with deadlines and competition you often can’t afford this inactivity. nnIf you are going to win, you need Self-Confidence. In another words, if you want to Kick Butt and accomplish your goals, you need to take on a Partner. nnnThe question is…Are you tuff enough? That’s right. Believe it or not your Partner for Success is Fear. Inorder to make the Radical Changes you need in your life, you must make your life long enemy into an ally. nnLike in Martial Arts you win by turning your opponents strengths into weaknesses. How do you do this with FEAR? You learn how fear operates. nnBefore human beings became civilized FEAR served man very well. When one cave-man ran into another during a hunting trip or hostile situation they would size each other up and the emotion of Mr. Fear would cause them to either fight or flee. Depending how big the other guy was. The power of Adrenalin would give them extra high octane energy-strength to fight or nervous energy to run. nnNow days, in society, we don’t have the luxury of this kind of direct action.If we did, we probably all would end up in jail or the nuthouse. So,this pent up energy from fear turns against us and makes us nervous, sweat, and fretful. SELF-TALK that incessant gibberish you hear in your mind all day is Mr. Fear talking to you. “You can’t do this; you can’t do that. What’s he or she saying about me? What will people think?” It goes on and on. nnnAt this point you use your fear-management skills to make Mr. Fear a true ally and work for you! nnHere's a perfect personal example of facing fear from own travel experience.nnI Climbed the Rock on the 7 day cruise on the Voyager, Royal Caribbean Cruise Ship Line.nnLots of fun and sun in the Western Caribbean.nMy biggest kick was doing the rock climbing. Yeah, the Voyager actually has a huge rock climbing facility.nnA few years ago I did rock climbing with my son. So, I had confidence I could do this Rock. nnAs I waited in line with other people to take my turn, I felt a quick jolt of Fear. I ignored this feeling and jumped at the starters position when my turn to climb came up. (There were 3 different trails)nnTo my astonishment, I found this challenge to be tougher than I thought. I was about a 1/4 of the way up the wall, when I realized the hand grips and foot supports were much smaller than what I was familiar with.nnAfter I was 1/2 way up the wall, my strength vanished. So I dropped back down.nnThe instructor asked me if I wanted to give it another shot. I said, "Lets do it". Right on. I Climbed the Rock.nnUp I went again, knowing in my heart that I would "do it".nnGuess what? This time I made it 2/3 the way up and "Bam". I was fini. Exhausted. My arms felt like putty. So I dropped down.nnThe instructor was smiling at me. "Give it another try. Only do it on the 3rd trail. It's a little easier."nnBy now I am starting to sweat. But, I was all motion. When you start to smell trouble, you have to keep your focus on the goal at hand.nnUp I went on the 3rd trail. After I was 1/2 way up..boom-I ran out of gas and dropped.nnI heard one of the other instructors say, "That guy has spirit".nnThat motivated me. So, up I went again. This time I came two rungs from the top when-Crash..no strength left. Down I went.nnI hit the deck totally whacked out. My clothing was soaked thru with perspiration and my ego was pummeled.nnMy instructor said I would have made it..all the way... if I had not shot my strength on the more difficult trail. Yeah, I Climbed the Rock. Another instructor came up to me and congratulated me on doing a good job. I didn't want to hear any of this. I felt "whipped" and just wanted to get out of there.nnAfter I calmed down, I went to the side lines and observed the other people as they climed. Most got 1/2 way up and quit. There were a few that made it to the top. I really respected them.nnThe instructors got a kick out of me because of my tenacious spirit and determination not to quit, until I was totally exhausted.nnI thought about that adventure all day. By nighttime, I was actually proud of myself. I Climbed the Rock. I no longer considered it a failure. I met my fear and didn't quit, until I used up every ounce of energy I had. I Climbed the Rock. Not bad for a 69 year old guy!nnn