Going with the "Flow"

This whole idea of change is founded on a single principle:
CHANGE IS ALL IN YOUR MIND.

First comes a desire or need to change. Then comes an nattitude that permits it. Then come behaviors that lead nto it and support it. And finally, change happens -- or at nleast you realize that it has happened!
The substance or result of the change process becomes clear at the moment you realize that something has changed -- that you're getting BETTER, of the situation is becoming
DIFFERENT. And the notion of radical change ultimately nleads to the possibility that you can actually be the BEST you that you can be. All you need to do is take the change process all the way. All it takes, really, is the desire to grow, to change -- and the realization that the process never really ends.

By acknowledging that your development is an ongoing process -- a work in progress -- you'll keep discouragement and frustration at relatively low levels when you suffer a setback or reach a plateau that could make you believe that you can't go on. You'll immediately realize that the situation is temporary and that you'll move on just as soon as you're ready.

For just a few moments let's look at an "ideal state" nscenario for change, one in which you truly "go with the nflow."

The concept of "flow" isn't new, although recent books and narticles seem to give it a lot of emphasis. "Flow" is what nevery one of us has experienced when, as children, we got nreally deep into our playing. Can you remember pretending nto be Superman or Wonder Woman? How did that feel?
Wasn't it exciting? Didn't you really believe that you ncould do all those superhuman things? Of course, that was nimaginary, but the feeling is what I want you to remember.
What words describe it?

One word is "joy." When your activity is going along nwithout a hitch you may feel joyous. Moreover, you're nlikely to lose yourself in the activity, to become "one" nwith it. Your sense of time evaporates. Sometimes you go ninto "slow motion." This happens to me when I reach a ndeep state of concentration. On the other hand, sometimes nan hour will pass in what you feel is just a minute or ntwo. For me, this can happen when I'm in front of my ncomputer, especially when I'm surfing the Internet or nworking on a particularly interesting copy writing nassignment.

When I reach this state, I often get a feeling of effortless achievement. One of the best examples of this for me is when I am skiing. Usually, at some point during the day, I begin a run and I just know that it's going to be perfect. All fear disappears; my brain and my body mesh in perfect synchronization; and my spirit soars! What a feeling!!

The way one gets to this remarkable state depends on a ncertain conditioning, one that involves a deep commitment nto improvement and a conscientious planning process that noutlines exactly what it is you want to achieve at this stage of your development.

Then, the actions you take must be highly focussed, nspecifically located in the present, in the NOW. Whenever nyour mind leaves the NOW, your sense of flow will be ndisturbed and your effortless progress will dissolve into a confusion of ideas and time frames. When you're looking for flow, concentrate on NOW and on the single idea you're pursuing at this moment.

This ability to reach a "flow" state requires consistent npractice. One way to motivate yourself toward this is to nwork on developing some talent not necessarily related to nnew experiences or skill-sets. You can profit from going nback to some talent you already possess -- sports, playing na musical instrument, gardening, crafts -- whatever.

Almost every one of us has some skill or interest that was nvery important years ago but has been lost in the process nof being a responsible adult. Take some time to inventory nyour talents and commit to activating at least one of them nagain. Not only will you likely discover that you get up nto speed very quickly, but you'll also find that you can nimprove that already-acquired skill quite easily. That'll nmake you feel pretty good about yourself. Now translate nthe improvement process to the life change you want to nmake, and see what happens.

Next, pick a workable strategy, a way of approaching the ntask of conscious change that uses skills and inclinations nyou already know and use. Some people, for instance, nprepare for change by reading every relevant book and nmagazine article they can get their hands on. Is this you?
If so, go for it. If not, well maybe you're a Nike-type nperson, a JUST DO IT enthusiast. This kind of person is nwilling to be knocked about some by new experiences and nfeelings, but for this kind of person, that's the way that nlea
ing occurs. If so, then JUST DO IT! Another type nlikes to make task lists, to-do sheets, project management nschedules, timetables and other quantifying devices. If that's your thing, then use it. It's always easier to use what you know than to learn something entirely new, and there's no sin in taking the easier, softer way when one exists for you.

Whatever your talents, inclinations or methodologies, one nvery good way to get motivated toward a "flow" of change nis to listen hard to what others see, to get feedback from npeers, friends and family. I belong to a group of writers nwho meet regularly to review and critique each other's nwork. I can't tell you how much better my work has gotten nthanks to the input of others who know what they're looking at. In fact, the "Betterchange" seminar has a board of advisors that see everything we do periodically. They comment, they critique, they suggest, and I respond. Net result, the seminar keeps getting better and better!

OK...so now you're motivated. How do you stay that way nthroughout the change process? Here are a few things to nthink about, to do, to watch out for.

First, make a conscious decision about how much of your ntime and effort you're willing to invest in the change nprocess. This decision will, of course, influence or ndetermine how long it will take to change, the degree of nchange over time, and so forth. But by quantifying your ntime allocation you'll be less likely to give too much time nto activities that aren't productive. You'll also more easily focus on NOT trying to over-perfect things that are OK as is. And finally, by allocating your time you'll keep your effort in this area in balance with the rest of your life.

Next, make only wise comparisons. As you make progress, nyou're going to want to measure it. Often we measure nourselves by our observations of others. Guard against ncomparing yourself to the top experts - those people you nbelieve are absolutely perfect. They'll represent nimpossible-to-reach targets and you'll get discouraged.
Measure yourself against those who are just far enough nahead of you to represent a viable challenge for you. One nway to avoid that trap is to measure yourself tomorrow nagainst yourself yesterday. The old sports clich?of
"personal best" holds here. This yardstick measures only nhow far you've come, not necessarily how far you have to go. It's easier on the ego and generally more positive.

The next idea has to do with getting UNmotivated. Avoid ntoxic people. Not everyone will share your goal of wanting to become the best you can be. In fact, many npeople will get jealous when you bring up that kind of subject, and they'll try to shoot you down. Identify these npeople as soon as you can and run as fast as possible away nfrom them.

Finally, you absolutely MUST learn to accept setbacks.
They're inevitable. Conflicting schedules, problems with nthe learning curve, the need to know one thing you don't nknow in order to learn another thing you need to know...nthere are many obstacles. Don't let them throw you. Find nsome supportive people you can vent to. That'll relieve nthe pressure and let you move on.

A final note about people you ask for advice. Make sure nthat there are as many of them as possible, and rotate the npeople you ask. If you hear too much from any one person, nyou may find yourself hearing the same messages, limiting nyour own growth, and perhaps antagonizing the person you're leaning on.

At the very bottom of all this are those core ideas...that nchange takes time and effort...that it's entirely your nresponsibility...that there are many ways to achieve the nsame outcome...and that there are people who will support nyou.

So it's not at all impossible to change ANYTHING that will help you to grow as a person in any dimension...physical, mental, emotional and spiritual.