What Women and Men Want, Part III

The following is a lesson learned from interviewing men and women on what they want from the opposite sex in order to create fulfilling, happy relationships.

These interview are detailed in Parts I & II of this article can be viewed at www.WhatItTakes.com in the archives of the Relationship Coach Newsletter starting Tuesday, 10/24/00.

For your free copy of the How To Attract Your Ideal Relationship (TM) Questionnaire, email Relationship Coach Rinatta Paries at coach@WhatItTakes.com or visit http://www.WhatItTakes.com.

Men believe women primarily want them for security reasons and women believe men primarily want them for sex or caretaking. Therefore, both men and women feel poised to be used as soon as they enter a relationship. Neither sex feels valued for their human-being, but only for how they can satisfy the needs of the other. Both sexes deeply resent the other and play out this resentment in intimate relationships. Disturbingly, none of what men believe women want from them and women believe men want, is actually true for the majority of the population.

Many, many women are secure financially, socially and emotionally without men. Most women do not look for a man or for a relationship for security reasons at all, but instead look for a deep partnership. Women want a best friend, a playmate, a partner in the deepest sense.

Many, many men look at women as much more than sexual objects or caretakers. It is not that men do not find women attractive or do not want to be nurtured. It is that men want a best friend, a playmate, a partner in the deepest sense as well.

What's going on here? Why does each sex have a skewed view of what the other wants?

I believe this goes back to a time when men and women had to deal with survival first and foremost. Women did need and want men for security. Women depended on men first for their survival and later for social standing and financial support. Men, busy hunting and protecting and later providing for wife, family, and often parents, did not have room to be emotional. They rightly expected care taking and got tende
ess, love and affection through sex.

We as a society have grown. And yet we still hold onto the beliefs that the opposite sex values us for nothing more than what we could have provided a hundred years ago.

Can we give each other credit for growth and development? Can we attribute changes and growth of our society to the growth and development of the individual? Can we honestly say it is possible for women AND men to want love and partnership?

Perhaps men and women can put some of the resentment and anger at each other aside and finally start to come together in thriving partnerships.

This article was originally written by Relationship Coach Rinatta Paries and published in The Relationship Coach Newsletter, a weekly e-mail publication for people who want to create fulfilling relationships. If you are single, the newsletter will help you attract your Mr. or Ms. Right. If you are in a relationship, it will help you to create much more closeness and intimacy with your mate. To subscribe, go to http://www.WhatItTakes.com nnn