Personal Growth -- A Journey Of Being More Yourself

Personal growth does not end when we become adults, on the contrary, the journey of personal growth becomes more personal and more unique to us as life experience teaches us what does and does not work for us.

As adults our individuality is usually easier to disce
as we have greater influence on the situations we find ourselves in. When we were babies we did not we distinguish between ourselves and our parents, particularly our mother. We were not really conscious of where we ended and another human being began. However over time our awareness of ourselves increased as we realised that we could make a difference to the world around us and we began to see for ourselves the impact that we made upon it.

It is in seeing other people recognising us as individuals and in seeing the impact that we have had on other people and the world around us that gives us the assurance that we are in fact existing, conscious and alive. This springs in part from some of those early experiences. As small children we grow and learn more about ourselves and the world around us. Our individuality is revealed day by day. At some point however our parents stop encouraging us to fully express ourselves and stop rewarding us for every action and utterance. At some point they start to ask us and expect us to conform to the norms of society that we find ourselves a part of.

Being part of society is being part of the community of human beings which gives a certainty of acceptance. We cannot survive without it, nor would we want to. It is in community that we recognise each other as individuals. In more enlightened communities that individuality is welcomed, nourished, expanded and appreciated. However for most of us our teenage years and early adult life was became a time of conformity in order to be accepted.

We all need to connect with other people and we can only do that if we trade off some of our individuality. At school the priorities of academic life and exams dominates all other. In young adults it’s the establishment of careers, personal lives, relationships, finances and homelife that dictate priorities. So we strive for promotion, search for the next job that will give us a pay increase, upgrade our car when our monthly payments can stretch that far and so on. We look for a partner that we like, but also who we are proud to have by our side -- inevitably this is a selection based in part on society's norms and expectations rather than on the person that we truly are. Our individuality has been compromised. This compromise is done for good reasons. As I have already said, it is done to be sure of being part of a community and accepted by it.

For example, enjoying helping others and contributing to others wellbeing may lead one to work for a charity, but pressure to conform and get a good career may lead the same person to get a career with good prospects, like the law or accountancy. This person could choose to combine the two and exercise that profession within a charity or public sector organisation. It is looking back and seeing these choices that helps us to recognise that we are on the journey to discovering ourselves and we are constantly being pulled by the unique characteristics of our authentic self.

The legendary singer, Tom Jones, would under normal circumstances in his community in Wales, have become a minor, digging coal for a living. Instead Tom, used to singing in public as a child, went against the norm of that community and became an international singing sensation. The world is better off for Tom Jones having chosen to follow a path of being more himself rather than following the path of conforming with his local community. When he is interviewed Tom Jones says that he still loves singing and he is so grateful for the life that he has led.

At any moment a decision can present itself and we can make that decision on the basis that it will help us to be more ourselves rather than be more in conformity with others' expectations. Our life is determined by our decisions on a day-to-day basis and the more that we make them in line with our true self, the more fulfilling our life will be and the more use we will be to society in general as we bring our uniqueness to the world.