Public Speaking: Throwing out the rule book on public speaking?

I think most of us know the rules on public speaking. First, remember to not use filler words such as “ums”, “You know”, or “uh”. Second, show confidence and have your presentation well rehearsed. Use vocal inflection, and engage your audience. Now, I do believe that these rules can be used wisely and improve your presentation abilities, but they aren’t the end all.

I’ve been moved to tears with a presentation filled with “ums”. I’ve watched a video of Steve Jobs presenting at Harvard, where he was emotional, halting, and nervous, yet effective in getting his message across. I’ve listened to monotone speakers where I was hanging on every word, because there was a presence that pulled me into their message. So what did these three presenters have that allowed them to pull off their presentation while breaking the rules? Its one word really, heart.

They had heart, which allowed them to speak openly, to let their vulnerable inner parts show up in the presentation. They were authentically present. Most people, when speaking, want to hide parts of themselves that they feel may be judged and condemned. So, they appear weak, unprepared or are a nervous wreck trying to hold back the fear. Sometimes a person may come onto the stage with no “ums”, chest out, standing tall and carrying themselves like they are feeling confident and possibly the best in the world. Their bodies say, “Look at me! I’m great!”, yet beneath this false image are inner parts fearing for their life…fearing they may be found out and humiliated.

Throw out the rule book, and speak from your heart. Practice your presentation so you know it inside out, and then don’t obsess over a few “you know” or “ums”. People have come to hear you. When you clear out all the filler words it just sounds fake.

Go with what you feel. Instead of pushing away the fear, just be present with it. Soften and send loving energy to every part of you that has fear, worries or anxiety. Look out at your audience and do the same. Really, there is no difference between you and your audience. We’ll all one…with similar fears, anxieties and issues. As you love yourself, your audience feels loved too.

It’s simply really, the more acceptance you have for yourself, all of you, the more your audience can relate to your message. It’s not about choreographing your every move, analyzing your every word and inflection, but having the inner strength to be true to yourself and to care enough about your audience to be yourself. It’s actually fun when you can speak from your heart and get into a flow connecting with your audience. It’s a win, win.
If we’re going to have a rule book in public speaking, number one should be, “Get to know and love you.” Loosen up and let yourself fly! Let’s try that on for size…your audience will love it!