Are You Leaking Energy?

Something was wrong in my kitchen. Very wrong. As I opened my freezer door I came face to face with a horrible reality. My friends, it was true: My strawberry ice cream had melted.

This wasn't the first time that $5 worth of delicious dessert was ruined before I was able to enjoy single spoonful. You see, my refrigerator was born during a time when the Doobie Brothers blared from 8-track players and Archie Bunker was the toast of television.

Even though I'd have to throw out food every couple of weeks for over a year, I preferred not to register what this was costing me in wasted food and frustration. I pretended that somehow my major appliance had the power to heal itself. Hey, it beat the alte
ative of having to spend time, energy, and money it would require for a new refrigerator, right?

Why do I tell this story? Well, first of all, I believe that most of you can feel my pain around the melted ice cream. Second, I also believe that most of you have failing refrigerators somewhere in your life -- things that you know require your attention, but that you are putting up with nonetheless. In coaching jargon, these undesirable details of our lives are called "tolerations."

If our energy can be thought of as a pail of water, tolerations can be thought of as holes in the pail --- some are gushers, some pinhole leaks --- but all of them drain our energy. As human beings, we have a finite amount of mental energy to expend on our work, our personal responsibilities, and our play. Anything we are tolerating will diminish our supply of energy.

Tolerations can be mundane, such as a computer mouse that no longer tracks properly or a fresh rust spot on your car. Tolerations can also encompass larger issues such as financial struggle or a relationship with someone who treats you badly. Stop for a second. Where are you tolerating in your life?

When we let tolerations hang around in our lives, they continually gnaw at our brains, steal our attention and drain our energy. If we take the time to identify and completely handle those things that we are tolerating in our lives, we are creating an environment in which we can be less stressed and more happy.

Why do we tolerate stuff in our lives? We tolerate because we believe it's easier to ignore the problem than to make some changes. We tolerate because we feel overwhelmed with all the details of life. We tolerate when we have become so conditioned to struggling in our lives that it becomes a 'natural' part of life. We tolerate because we are not aware of the cost.

Okay, so how do we eliminate tolerations? Some tolerations just require our attention and action. For instance if your home or office is cluttered and disorganized, then devote several hours to make it perfect. Not just 'good enough,' but perfect. Unhappy with how someone is treating you? Remember that it's best to make requests rather than complain when tolerations center on another person's behavior toward you.

Handling larger tolerations can be a very daunting task -- they require us to make changes in our lives, to take action, and to tell ourselves the absolute truth about our current situation. And yes, eliminating tolerations often translates into spending money. Upgrading your computer, repairing an unreliable car, or replacing an old refrigerator (yes, it's been replaced!) are not cheap endeavors. But once completed, the high hidden costs of putting up with these stressors will become apparent.

Note: If you consistently do not have the money handle the items on your list, you need to ask yourself what changes you need to make to rectify this huge toleration.

Personally, I find that the greatest benefit to handling tolerations comes from the constant reminders in my environment that reinforce the fact that I am living more deliberately and with more awareness each day. As strange as it may sound, every time I go to my new refrigerator, I feel good about myself and about my life. When I walk into my clean office, I feel more energized and more professional.

So begin telling yourself a new truth by writing down ten things you are tolerating -- even if you don't see the solution to the problem right now. Handle one of these smaller tolerations by the end of the day. You will see a burst of energy from plugging these holes in your life and once you take this first step, you can expect to become a more productive and happy person.

For a free assessment to determine the degree to which you are tolerating in your life, visit http://www.evolutioncoaching.com. nnn