Seeing Through New Eyes

Did you ever try doing something the same way every time and end up trying to make the proverbial foot to fit the shoe? Do you ever wake up and see that how you deal with family and friends might need a shake-up with a different approach? And will you become more open to the realization that it may be time to solve one of life’s conundrums differently?nnI have been working with a bright and adorable young woman who has had a clinical rap sheet of bad girl behaviors, from drinking and drugging, cutting and burning herself, to having made it a mission to get involved with all the wrong men. She came to us through synchronicity: someone who had gone through our boutique one-on-one self-help program and he recommended us.nnAs I began to work with her I determined that she needed to be able to perceive of herself as having a life worth living with purpose and one that needed for her parents to listen to her and to hear her. My intuition told me that if I could get her to take her attention off of what was wrong with her and throw the bright lights on what was so interesting and also so much fun about her she would flourish.nnBetween weeks she had two days off, to do with what she would. I forgot to mention that the “big shots” in psychological circles had diagnosed her as ADD, ADHA and bi-polar among other “gotcha” deep-seeded nameable diseases. One of her issues was that her Dad never had time for her. So, enter the transference Dad—me—and we did everything from take my new puppy to the Dog Park, have a few meals, went to a movie we hated, laid in the sun and laughed and took life as unserious as we could. I let my hair down—she really cracked up that I am picky about where I sit in restaurant and who waits on me among other quirks deeply ingrained in me—and she kept hers up but managed to lighten up and see the silver lining in her otherwise dark clouded endless days and nights. Simply put, the best therapy so far may have been the un-therapy: living life and loving it by not taking ourselves too seriously.nnYou don’t have to be a therapist to see people, places and things differently, and changing you to help others do the same.