***Self-Worth - The Best Gift You Can Give to Your Child

Our greatest lessons in life often come from our children. I was reminded this morning of some of the things I have learned from my own children—and that it sometimes seems as if they “chose” me for the lessons I needed to learn.

At the birth of my daughter some 21 years ago, I was naturally overwhelmed with feelings of happiness, joy, gratitude, and profound love—and at the same time also very anxious if I would be up to the task and responsibility of rearing this tiny precious being. With no experience at all in taking care of a baby or bringing up a child, I stumbled along, somehow finding answers to my many questions and overcoming my many challenges thanks to the tremendous bond of unconditional love—the universal experience I am sure every parent goes through.

It was no preparation at all for the arrival of my son almost to the day two years later. I thought I knew it all after my daughter, but I quickly realized that I was discovering everything anew with him. Whatever I expected was the opposite of what would happen. Whereas I had to beg my daughter to take another bite or sip, my son would empty his bowl and cup, then want more. Whereas I had to hold my daughter in my lap to coax her into having a nap, my son would simply fall asleep wherever he was if he needed a nap. My daughter I could take by the hand and go for a long walk; my son balked at holding my hand and was so fascinated by everything in his path that it took forever to walk the shortest distance.

It brought home to me so very clearly just how extraordinarily unique and different is every child—and I know I would feel even more strongly the same way were I to have a third or even a fourth child. Every child possesses her/his own distinct individual wondrous personality, temperament, and qualities. Every child is a special miracle in her/his own right in her/his own way. Every child is incomparable—deserving of appreciation and especially unconditional love for being who she/he “is.” Every child deserves nurturing and validation of her/his self-worth in relation to no one but her/his own self. She/he will be challenged enough by self-doubts and having to cope with comparisons to and judgments by others without us as parents doing it for or imposing it on them. By loving, listening to, and seeing a child as lovable and worthy, we are empowering. Our greatest reward is how well a child will do in taking on and meeting the challenges of her/his life—it’s not the “Thanks, Mom and Dad” that we expect to hear.

Very often the experiences in our lives seem overly harsh as a result of shortcomings in the sense of self-worth of our inner child. Ask yourself: “Might the problems I am experiencing right now in some way be related to a lack of self-appreciation and self-worth?” Take the time to answer honestly and write down your thoughts. What have you discovered about yourself? Now, think hard: What is the origin of these perspectives? Is this what you think of yourself or what you think others think about you? What is the truth? Now, it is your choice: Does it serve you better to accept or reject the truth?

Please feel free to share with me your outcomes of this exercise in the space for comments below.