Sex and Old Age... Knocking Boots at All Ages

Feeling like you’re losing touch in the bedroom, lately?

Has your sex life gone from twice a day, to once a week, to “I’m scared we’ll wake the kids” to “no way, my arthritis has flared up”.

You’re not alone – this happens to many couples. But, growing old together can still include a healthy, fiery sex life – at any age.

Benefits to Sex

Sex is an important part of intimacy and is what makes you feel connected to your partner. Want to be a happy couple again? Start having more sex.

Both male and female orgasms release powerful “happy” hormones called endorphins – the same body chemical released when you laugh. If you’re feeling down-in-the-dumps, grab your partner for a session of unadulterated sex and change your mood for the rest of the day.

Sex also increases the flow of blood throughout your body, which increases your metabolism. It’s not the same as a 5-mile jog, but passionate sex can increase your heart rate and blood flow enough to help you work off some extra calories.

Things that Inhibit Sex as We Age

Contrary to popular belief, libido does not wane with age. If one partner is raring to go, but the other is making excuses, it’s likely there are deeper issues. Sex is complicated and can be inhibited by both physical and mental issues:

Children and child-rearing are the most popular mood-killers. Supermoms tend to over-exert themselves into fatigue, making sex an unwanted chore at the end of their busy day. Not to mention, the never-ending threat of the kids walking in.

Stress in our everyday lives can also kill the mood. Fifty hour work weeks, a 2-hour commute and the constant worry about finances is not good foreplay.

We can also talk ourselves out of great sex. Inhibitions, erectile dysfunction and lack of orgasm have been proven to be functions of over-thinking sex. Body image is also a big culprit. Instead of enjoying it, we worry what the other person is thinking.

Some common age-related medical conditions and their treatments can negatively affect sex drive. Meds to treat heart disease, depression, menopause, diabetes and cancer can all affect sexual function and sex drive. Lost libido, erectile/ejaculation difficulties and vaginal dryness/pain are all side-effects of these conditions or medications to treat these conditions.

Bring Back That Loving Feeling

Communication is the key to getting you back on track to a healthy sex life.

If you’re the partner always asking…but never getting, then you need to tell your partner that sex makes you feel connected and passionate and in love. If you’re the partner with the lost libido, then tell you need to tell your partner why you dread sex. Communication is critical to defining the disconnect between your sex drives and finding a solution to satisfy both of you. Maybe it’s what is NOT being said that is causing a communication breakdown. Sitting down and talking rationally and calmly can be an eye-opening experience that might just be the catalyst to get you into the bedroom right away.

If you have experienced vaginal dryness, erectile or ejaculation difficulties or pain during sex you need to get an appointment with your doctor and tell him your symptoms. More so, if you have any medical condition such as heart disease, depression, diabetes or menopause. You might feel very uncomfortable telling your doctor about your sex life, but be assured that he is a professional and wants to help you get back to good health – including a good sex life. Be as detailed as possible for the best remedy.

Once you’ve sorted out the problem verbally you need to put your theory to practice. Dedicate the time to sex. Concentrate on the moment and don’t let your mind wander. Don’t rush and don’t skip your dedicated sex date, either.

Lastly, be open-minded about trying new techniques and positions. You never know, you might just like it.

Have you experienced the problem of a different sex drive to your partner?

How did you get it back?

Tell us worked (or didn't work) for you.