Sex for Boomers: Rated Rx

Why should an activity that offers us mental, physical, emotional and spiritual benefits be limited to youth? Is there some immutable law that says that when a person passes the age of sixty, they no longer want or need to have sex?

While it is true that the biologic imperative to reproduce is generally suspended for females over sixty, that does not mean that menopausal women are fitted with metaphorical chastity belts. They are able (and often eager) to engage in and enjoy sexual activity. As Cindy Lauper sang: Girls (and women) just want to have fun.

As for male Boomers and Seniors, they have proven, over time (or time and time again), to be willing and able to do their part to perpetuate the species.

Frankly, I have to wonder about those sit coms in which teen-agers or twenty-somethings apparently become traumatized at the thought that their parents, or even their grandparents (Cue a moue of distaste and a shrill “Euwww!” followed by a raucous laugh track) actually engage in sexual activity.

I know that the writers are going for the comic effect, but one has to ask: Are these young people stupid, repressed, or just selfish? Do they think that they were found under a cabbage leaf? Are they themselves not eager to (if not already sexual active or sexually hyperactive) engage in that same activity? Or do they simply think that sex is their sole province?

Leaving the tender sensibilities of TV land behind, let me say that while there are physical, emotional or medical factors that make it difficult for some older people to have sex, for the greater part of the Baby Boomer and older population, a good sex life is not only possible but positively beneficial.

There are, of course, a broad spectrum of sexual activities ranging from caressing and cuddling to coitus. And there are a variety of sexual expressions and preferences from auto-erotic stimulation, oral sex, and full intercourse. There is hetero-,homo- and bi-sexual expressions.

It should be noted, though, that safe sex with a committed partner is preferable in terms of emotional, relational, and spiritual benefits, but also in terms of physical benefits. There is no health benefit to sex with multiple partners or strangers when you run the risk of sexually transmitted disease.

With that one reservation firmly in mind, what are some of the other benefits of an active sex life in the Boomer and beyond years? Physiologically, the sex act gives us a potent biochemical mix of estrogen, testosterone, polactin, oxytocin and beta-endorphins and corticosteriods that act to improve our stress response. These are natural pain killers and relaxers.

I’m not saying that you should indulge in the cliched cigarette in bed after sex – there are both health and safety issues with that – but you should find yourself more relaxed and, unless you’ve been messing around where you shouldn’t have been, at peace.

Not only that, but having sex twice or more a week can decrease your risk of a fatal heart attack by more tha
50%. Of course, if you already have had a heart attack or other cardiac problems, it is best not to undertake the more strenuous sexual activities without your doctor’s express approval. In those cases, perhaps it is best to remember that even cuddling can be beneficial.

For men, a slight reduction in the risk of prostate cancer can result from frequent ejaculations, whether masturbatory, fellatic or coital. Granted, the research indicates that the optimum frequency of sex for this particular benefit is twenty-one times per month, but this is a sacrifice many men are willing to make.

Sexual activity can burn from 85-100 calories per half an hour. That may not sound like a lot, but it is certainly more fun than many other ways in which we try to burn calories. And since your heart rate can increase to high intensity levels, you may find it a very enjoyable cardio exercise.

A sexual workout can also tone and strengthen pelvic floor muscles, which support everything from orgasm intensity to urinary continence.

Sexual desire is a natural human emotion, one of the most powerful, that does not turn off like a faucet when you reach a certain age.

The intimacy with a loved one, the delight and rapture of sexual fulfillment continue to be some of the finest of our human experiences.

Research shows that our general life satisfaction correlates with our sense of sexual well-being.

In fact, sex is too good – and good for us – to be left for the young.