Sex, the Great Healer

Finally, that spa trip you have long awaited is almost here. In magnificent seclusion, hidden away from time and urban life, you and your beloved will rediscover each other. Under the ancient arms of gently swaying trees, you will regenerate yourselves. And while all thought of budgets, children, and employment melt away, you may even have the best sex of your life.nnMany couples notice that it takes a vacation away from daily stresses to relax the body, free the mind, and rediscover sexual desire. That’s because erotic love naturally blends together with physical and mental healing. When you recover from an illness or climb out from under that mountain of papers, your sex drive returns. Overwork, worry, and physical strain consume the juice needed to run your sexual batteries.nnBut in case you had forgotten, sex, like health, is worthy of rediscovery. Everything in life is easier if you are having great sex. Mountains turn into molehills. You appreciate of the goodness life brings you, your outlook brightens, and your body feels more vital. If you think these statements aren’t true, you have never had great sex on a regular basis.nnSo why must it take a bungalow, a Jacuzzi, and your parents babysitting for a week to revive the passion confined by the daily grind? It is possible to maintain that healthy hunger for life and each other without depending upon that elusive weekend off. But you must have a clear idea of how great sex and great health complement and create each other. Then you can intentionally use one to access the other and create lifestyle habits that allow you more of both.nnSex Makes Us HealthynnWe know that every part of the body must be used to remain vital. Medical literature has shown us that to keep the heart healthy it needs stimulation with aerobic exercise. Bones require weight bearing exercise to maintain high calcium levels and avoid osteoporosis. Even octogenarians can revive a fading memory with a few simple mental exercises.nnThe sex organs are no exception. For example, women who breast feed have lower breast cancer rates, while celibate men turn up with higher percentages of prostate and related cancers. A woman who enjoys regular sex may have fewer PMS symptoms. Actively sexual women going through menopause have fewer symptoms associated with the drop in reproductive hormone levels. This means that they get to feel wet and wild into their 90s. And because of the release of endorphins (the body’s own feel-good drugs) during the act, outlook also improves. Depression just can’t exist in the middle of great sex. Have you noticed? We benefit from using the body in all the ways it was designed to be used.nnAs an acupuncturist and doctor of traditional Oriental medicine, I have discovered that the early Chinese physicians were among history’s first sexologists. They spent thousands of years observing their patients to learn more about the nature of the sexes and the optimal ways to utilize sex for pleasure and healing. For my professional ancestors, sex was not just a pastime to be enjoyed for recreational and procreative purposes.It was a highly valued and coveted tool: an antiaging strategy and the source of unlimited power to be tapped into at will. These great sages spent centuries formulating their ideas, which, by the first century A.D., were already quite advanced.nnIn this country, sex education is about how babies are made. But ancient Chinese scholars realized that a high level of sexual skill involved techniques that brought both pleasure and health. Multi-orgasmic experiences for both men and women were important aspects of lovemaking. This required men to develop the ability to separate orgasm from ejaculation. It was proven that orgasm is not what puts a man to sleep within thirty seconds of climax, rather, it is the ejaculatory process. A man could have many orgasms in one lovemaking session if he could control the release of semen.nnThe idea that sex is an antiaging tool is based upon the idea that you can make love with skills that actually generate more life force. You can lower your biological age by bringing more stamina into your body through sexual play. The vitality that keeps us alive is intertwined with sexual strength. The more vitality generated in the bedroom, the more that’s available to live your life. Likewise, if you waste your life force in the bedroom with unskilled sex, the weaker you become generally. While sexual ecstasy inspires the body to function at its best, sexual frustration propels people into old age.nnDuring your precious few days at a spa or retreat, your mind slows down and your sex drive reminds you that it still exists. An acupuncturist would tell you that this is because the “pot” of energy that governs the mind also governs sex drive. There is one battery to run both heads, so to speak. This is true for both women and men.nnSo when your brain is cranking 24 hours, 7 days a week, there is not a whole lot of juice left over to keep your sexual engine running. It isn’t that your libido is gone, it’s that it’s being used to cut a path through that jungle of mental activity you muddle through every day.nnWhy wait until you are off in some resort with hot springs and palm trees? Rejuvenate your sex drive now! If you follow the idea that quieting the mind lets your libido speak louder, you can create islands in time for the heat of passion even during the most hectic days of the week. And what else is there to do on an island? Listen to music, stroll through beautiful scenery, dine upon fine food in a relaxed atmosphere, regain your strength, and boogie your brains out.nnI have always suggested a once-a-week date night to my patients. If that is not suitable for you, come up with your own variation. The rules are that kids, business, money, and in-laws are not permitted topics for discussion, and that each date night is consistently planned for and written into your schedule and nothing but the Resurrection or a life-threatening illness will change that. By taking the time for yourselves, everything—your stamina, outlook, health, and love affair—will improve, and you’ll be able to have homemade vacation-style sex any night of the week.