Sexual Discovery - It's a Man's World

I'm a hiker, and I'm anything but a boyscout. I hurry down the trail half put together with little notion of what I'll find and when I'll return. Consequently, I've many times beat my way out of the woods in total darkness, been cut off by sheer cliffs or ice I can't cross, and once I found myself in the midst of fire weed clad only in a swimsuit and sandals.

It sounds stupid, I know, but I wouldn't live any other way. The amazing things I discover are found only with reckless abandon and a push around one more bend in the trail before it gets too dark to see any longer.

That's real life – that's also real sex.

While male daring and passion for discovery is most often admired in guys, when we carry our craving to climb over the next hilltop of our sexuality, our culture waves a red flag because, after all, there are boundaries to our sexuality. Strangely, men succumb to the wet blanket of shame that our society casts upon us in order to keep our sexuality set on the cool cycle.

Discovery is male. It chides us, “Why stop? Let's keep going!” Last week my son and wife and I dug a giant hole on the beach and watched the water fill the bottom. “Why stop there?” we thought. So, we dug the deepest hole on the beach, and he stuck a tall pole in it to mark our achievement.

Discovery is a guy's quest to connect, to climb inside, to learn one more thing. You ask one more question, drive one more hour, nail up one more sheet of plywood, make one more cast in the bay. You reach, discover and then connect.

Male sexuality is no different. It's purely male and purely sexual to chase down one more lane and explore some elusive erotic quality of your lover, a wilder physical sensation you could try together, or something you never thought you could do but wanted to try. Your lover, surprised, might say, “Umm. What are you trying to prove? Dear, this isn't a track meet.” You think, “It's not?” It's a natural God-given desire for you, yet also your role to lead your wife on the adventure.

Society tells us to push all the bounds in business, education, work ethic and play, but surprisingly, society also imposes it's chilling bounds into our own bedrooms. Your passion for discovery gives you the ability to feed starving nations, find fuel sources or to put on a globe-stopping musical performance. Yet, men and their wives, anxious to explore one-another's bodies and souls and discover unimaginable union still ask, “Is this OK?” These words are death to lovers.

Guys are pioneers, and while western culture quivers in bashful sexuality, you must lovingly, but courageously push around the bend in the trail of your sexuality. You will never sexually grow enough. There is always another hill to climb over. There is always a deeper sexual union to discover with your beloved.

The chiding of maleness is welcome as it gives you courage to launch a long sexual adventure with your beloved. You vow to never ask, “Is this OK?”, because your marriage bed belongs to you and your lover. You possess the words of maleness which you can laughingly and courageously take into your bedroom, “Why stop? Let's keep going!”