How to recover from the Fraud Syndrome

Are you the kind of person that everyone respects because they think you are a real high-flyer, but you are always afraid that someday they are going to find out that actually you aren’t? Then you may be suffering from the fraud syndrome.nnTen years ago I was deemed a high flyer. My career as a project management consultant was successful and at each of my performance management reviews I always scored highly and was rewarded with generous bonuses. However there was one problem that I found really difficult to cope with, and that was the constant fear that both my employers and staff would one day find out that it was a fluke. I had no idea why everyone thought I was so good at my job when I thought I was completely useless at it. Yes I achieved all of my deadlines and always kept within my budget, but it wasn’t really me that created the success, it was my staff, they carried me, or sometimes it was just luck.nnI didn’t need to motivate my staff, I didn’t need to be an effective role model – they didn’t need one. Sometimes I had to tackle behavioural problems with my staff, helping them to develop themselves in areas where they needed to so that they could not only be more effective at work, but more importantly more effective and happy human beings. But didn’t that smack of failure the fact that I had staff with behavioural problems? nnI managed muti-million pound projects which were usually politically volatile, had completely unrealistic, but vital deadlines. I worked my staff into the ground. The benefit to them was that they were more than rewarded financially. But did they have a life? I couldn’t see the fact that any of them could have walked away if they really wanted to. I just felt really bad about the demands I placed upon them. We always succeeded. We were always rewarded. I got the reputation that I ‘would get things done’. I never ran away from any issue, but tackled it head on. Staff issues, confrontations with suppliers when they delivered a poor quality service, customers who fought change. I was a diplomat, agony aunt, and quality controller all rolled into one.nnOh, and by the way, I was also a mother to two children and a loving wife, and also managed to run a home in my spare time.nnI achieved time and time again. In fact I achieved in all areas of my life. Wouldn’t anyone have admired and respected my achievements? Of course, everyone except me. nnBehind the professional aura of the power suit, briefcase, laptop and all the other technical paraphernalia which reflects a powerful business person, I was a quivering jelly. Absolutely terrified, scared beyond measure that one day someone would find me out. Someone would realise that actually I was completely crap at my job. The overwhelming evidence to the contrary wasn’t a comfort. For some reason it was something that I could easily dismiss. This went on for years.nnUntil the day I came across a letter from an agony aunt in a magazine talking about the fraud syndrome. It was a revelation. nSince reading her reply to one of her readers I started to see things more clearly. I really was an achiever. In fact I was actually an over-achiever. I strived for (and almost achieved) perfection in every area of my life.nnI also found out that there was one main reason why I did this. It was the same reason I suffered from the Fraud Syndrome. My low self-esteem. I didn’t believe in me. I didn’t believe in my own ability, even when I had evidence to prove it. I was good at evidence collecting, evidence that I was a failure of course, I didn’t even see positive evidence let alone collect it (apparently that’s common for sufferers of low self-esteem).nnIn the last ten years I have changed my life completely. I now have my own business helping people believe in themselves! I love it. It’s amasing how many people I have met that suffer from the Fraud syndrome. I mistakenly believed for a long time that it was a syndrome unique to women, but working with men has enlightened me to the fact that it is a male issue too.nnHow do you know you are a fraud syndrome sufferer?nn1. You do everything to perfection so that you can’t be found outn2. You never talk about your achievementsn3. You are quick to advertise your mistakes or any shortfalls to othersn4. You collect evidence of your failings, not of your successesn5. You are in constant fear of being ‘found out’nnI often wish that I had kept the page from the magazine which explained the Fraud Syndrome to me, because of its value. For me the article switched a light on in my mind. It presented the possibility that perhaps I was successful in my career. It also helped me understand what my real issue was. The good thing about that? nnOnce you become aware of a problem it’s a hell of a lot easier to deal with. All you have to do is choose to.nnSo there is a solution to all fraud syndrome sufferers. Improve your self esteem. How? It’s simple, but not necessarily easy. In my experience the best way to improve your self esteem is to follow these 10 steps.nn1. Whatever your history/background start with a clean sheet. Your past is gone.nn2. From today get to know yourself – what you like, don’t like. nn3. Get to know your strengths and weaknesses. In your opinion – no-one else’s.nn4. Find a way to exploit your strengths fully and find a way to eradicate your weaknesses. Get help to change your behaviour if it’s a behavioural issue, or gain the knowledge/training/experience you need to strengthen your weaker skills.nn5. Learn how to be assertive (not aggressive).nn6. Discover where your boundaries are and stick to them.nn7. Realise that you are not God. Work out the type of support network you need to champion you through the good times and help carry the load through the bad.nn8. Be good to yourself, nurture yourself, keep yourself safe. In fact treat yourself like you would a very special friend. Become your own best friend.nn9. Never criticise yourself or put yourself down. There are plenty of people out there who will do that for you if you let them. But you won’t will you?nn10. Every single day keep a journal of all the things that you like about yourself. For those of you with self esteem that is really, really low, I’ll help you at with one that you can write every single day. ‘I value myself enough to develop a healthier self-esteem.’nnThe faster you develop your self-esteem the faster your recovery from the Fraud Syndrome!n