Shrink Wrap or Unwrap: The Best Way To Achieve Your Goals

"I can't afford it right now," Laine said in a small voice. I could feel even over the phone how her energy was shrinking, moving away from what she wanted but felt she couldn't have.

Laine's not alone. Her dilemma is one we all face, over and over again, as we move through this journey as entrepreneurs.

We want to expand, to grow, to reach out and hold what we so desire, but then the contradictory voices come up. 'I can't afford it', 'I can't do that', 'I don't know enough about that'. Even, 'it's not the right time' can be a message that keeps you from what you really want.

If we listen to those messages, we can hold ourselves back, not fully entering into what we want even if it feels so right.

It's our natural and healthy wanting that is drawing us to what will serve us best.

Now I'm not saying to recklessly plunge into every impulse you have. What I'm talking about is a draw towards something you truly want.

So how do you make the right decision for you and your business when there's something you want, and a shrinking energy comes up?

First, there's something you should know about doing things differently than you have before. When you're entering into a change, even if you really want it, those contradictory voices will pop up. That's called resistance. It comes from your primal impulse to protect yourself.

That self-protective impulse against doing something new isn't a bad thing. It can keep you from being reckless. But that impulse against change will come up even if what you'd like to do is the best thing for you. You just have to know how to deal with it. Here's how:

Rather than dealing with resistance like a whack-a-mole player, trying to get rid of every resistant thought that comes up, you can thank the primal part of your brain, the brain stem, for its message. Then, engage your thinking brain, your cerebral cortex.

If you feel like Laine, that you can't afford it, look at return on investment. Can I recoup the money I'm about to invest? Will taking this step likely lead to more income tha
I would otherwise have?

If you feel you don't know enough about it, then find out. Do some research. Talk to people who've done it. Learn from their experience.

If you feel you can't do it, or that this isn't the right time, look at why. Is there training or information or resources you need?

If not, then look to fear as the culprit. There really isn't much you can't do - there's almost always a way. There are mostly things you choose not to do. And a choice away from what you really want, even if it seems like just a delay, is most often fear.

Ask yourself, what's scary about it? Is it new and unfamiliar? Does it have elements that you veer away from?

Really take some time to sit with these feelings, move into them as much as you can. They're not trying to be mean, even if they are uncomfortable. They have something valuable to tell you.

This unwrapping of your 'I can't do it' response provides a wealth of information. It's rich territory.

What do you believe about money?

What do you believe about opportunities?

What do you believe about how deserving you are to have what you want to have?

Big stuff, I know, that can reach back to recent experiences, or all the way back to childhood.

The thing is, it's all affecting your business right now, in the present. What you believe about yourself and how the world works is so important in how you make decisions. When you unwrap that, a huge gift is waiting for you inside.

You don't have to go into the why's and the story behind it. You can usually just unearth the belief, and then choose something different.

Choosing something new can feel risky. And that's OK. We can never get past the point where there's no risk. Calculated risk, reasonable risk based on what you know and what is likely to happen as a result of your decision, is both helpful and valuable.

You can't grow without taking risks. Your business can't grow.

So, like Laine, when you come to a decision point, when something draws you and you feel you want to shrink away from it, look at what might be happening.

Here's an additional way to approach it: see what's happening in your body. Your body is a wonderful indicator of what is right for you. Does moving towards it feel expansive, freeing? Does moving away from it feel sad, and you feel smaller? That's a good indicator that moving towards is the right choice for you.

We all want to grow, to expand our experience and our contribution. To do that, you have to choose it and make decisions accordingly. Take reasonable risks. Move in the direction of what is important to you.

When you are strongly drawn to do something, make a decision. Do you want to shrink wrap, or unwrap? Do you want to pull away from it because it scares you, or do you want to unwrap it so that you can move towards what you so desire? You get to choose!